


Us Against The World

by verenabuck



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, F/F, F/M, First Time, First War with Voldemort, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Love, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Not Canon Compliant, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Smut, Unrequited Love, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 27,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23129662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/verenabuck/pseuds/verenabuck
Summary: Eleanor Barclay has it all. She is Head Girl, Seeker of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, has the most amazing group of mischievous friends, parents that love her and a cat that prefers her best friend over her only sometimes.If only the final year of school wasn't so stressful. If only there wasn't a war raging on that made her fear for the lives of every one she held dear. If only her best friend would love her like she loved him ...--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------With his smell surrounding me and his heartbeat softly next to me, I felt at ease in a matter of seconds.“But I'm always here for you”, he promised, yawning.“I know Prongs. And I'm always here for you.”
Relationships: Alice Longbottom/Frank Longbottom, James Potter & Original Female Character(s), James Potter/Original Female Character(s), Marlene McKinnon & Original Female Character(s), Mary Macdonald & Marlene McKinnon & Dorcas Meadowes & Lily Evans Potter, Peter Pettigrew & Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin & Original Female Character(s), Remus Lupin/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black & James Potter, Sirius Black & Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter & Original Character(s), Sirius Black/Marlene McKinnon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovely people!
> 
> This if my first Harry Potter Fanfiction! I'm very excited to post it on here. I already posted a few chapters on WattPad but honestly, this platform is way better, so I decided to post it on here as well!  
> A warning: English isn't my first language, so bare with me! If you notice any mistakes, please point them out!
> 
> I would be over the moon if you'd leave a kudos and a comment and added this story to your bookmarks! 
> 
> Have a nice day!

Prologue

“Okay, okay listen up!”, I called, my legs shook as I tried to hold my balance on the landing stage without falling into the lake.

“Don' know if we should listen to a girl that hexed her hair pink”, Sirius tried to muffle his laughter. 

“Very funny”, I hiccuped and smiled gratefully at Peter who extended his hand towards me to steady me. 

“I want us all to swear something...That no matter what happens this year, we will always stay best friends. Forever”, I declared seriously, looking around my group of friends that sat around me on the wood of the landing stage. Each of them had a kind of smile on their faces that only liquor could muster and said:  
“I swear.” 

“Solemnly”, James added, winking up at me before pulling me down again to sit next to him. 

“Because we know...anything might happen”, I mumbled, thinking of the fact that one of them had been turned into a werewolf when he was a mere child, another disowned by his family and a runaway and that a war was on the verge of breaking out. 

“This will be the best year yet”, Remus told us sheepishly, grinning at the fire whisky in his hands. 

“You say that before every year”, Peter pointed out, nudging Remus with his foot.

“And I'm damn right every time”, he shouted. It would be the best year yet – and the worst.


	2. Chapter 1: Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eleanor and her friends return to their home away from home: Hogwarts.

Chapter One: Home

“My mum just wouldn't shut up about how proud she is of me becoming head girl”, I groaned, pushing my huge trunk with Virgo's box on top along platform 9 ¾. 

“I mean I could say that I can relate but we know that would be a lie”, Sirius joked next to me as he helped me lift my trunk and cat into the train.

I couldn't help but laugh even though there was still a kind of sadness to the topic of which I knew he didn't want to talk about. 

“Although, Euphemia and Fleamont sounded pretty much the same all summer long”, he stated and gave me a hand to pull me up as well. 

“I noticed this last week … But considering what they went through with James these previous years, can you blame them?”, I asked rhetorically, holding up Virgo's travelling box while Sirius dragged both of our trunks behind him.

“No comment”, he laughed as we searched for the other three of our group that had already gone ahead to secure us a decent compartment. 

“Excited to see Marlene again?”, I asked him about his on and off fling (you couldn't call her 'girlfriend'. They had never been official anyway) since last spring as we looked for James, Remus and Peter.

“Excited for the fucking? Yes. For the bickering? Also yes”, he laughed, pointing to his right to reveal that he found them. 

“Oh well, you take what you can get right?”, I sighed, acting exhausted as I let myself fall down onto the seat next to James just a tiny tad too close. 

“What, are we talking about Remus dry humping at the thought of Dorcas?”, he asked which sent all of us into a frenzy of laughter. All of us expect Remus. 

“Okay, you all! I just can't bring up the courage to ask her out! My brain just...quite literally disappears when I'm talking with her”, he tried to justify. 

“You just need to get a few tips from experts”, James said casually, pointing at him and Sirius. 

“You? An expert? You maybe hooked up with seven girls last year! I'm sure I doubled that!”, Sirius claimed.   
I shook my head, purposefully avoiding everybody's gazes, taking a huge interest in the pattern of the seat I sat on.

“I call bullshit! Even if you tried, you couldn't hook up with more girls than I do!”, James disagreed, jumping up euphorically, which made me loose balance. 

“I'm smelling a bet”, Peter stated professionally. 

“Bloody right you do Pete! I bet that by Christmas break I will have hooked up with more girls than Prongs!”, Sirius called, his competitiveness being woken just like James'.

“Alright! Clever of you to think of the spring as study time mate!”, James praised his best friend. 

“That's just disgusting”, I mumbled under my breath, but Remus shot me an amused glance. 

“Okay, the bet is on! What's there to win though?”, Peter interfered quickly. 

“I'd say...glory and honour?”, James suggested. 

“Neither glorious nor honourable...Just thinking about how proud his mother was only an hour ago”, I murmured to myself. 

“What about that: The winner gets to take every Chocolate Frog card he ever wanted from the loser's collection?”, Sirius offered. 

“Seems legit! Wormtail, Moony, Kitten, you're all standing witness!”, James agreed and they shook hands in a ceremonial way.

“Nope, I'm so not a part of this”, I decided quietly, ignoring my roaring insides to keep a calm surface. 

“I never thought I would be Head Boy. I mean I don't know if I ever wanted to be, but I'm not one to complain. We'll get our own rooms, our own bathroom!”, James said excitedly once we returned from our meeting with the prefects to supervise them on what they had to do and to introduce ourselves. 

“Yeah, you won't hear me say that I'm going to miss sharing a dorm. Or those horrible beds. Or the bathroom. You can't imagine how horrible it is sharing a bathroom with a handful of girls”, I complained, glad that that would be in the past from now on. I would only have to share one with … well, him. 

“Horrible? I'm sure you're confusing that with bloody amazing!”, James shook his head viciously poking my waste. I bit my lip, suppressing a sigh.

“What's wrong with you Kitten? You're so terribly quiet today”, he asked, stopping in front of a window. I couldn't face him and so I looked outside, watching as the scenery passed by.

“Nothing … Maybe a bit nostalgic”, I evaded his question. 

“I get that, but I won't let your nostalgia ruin our last year!”, he said, poking my side again to get my full attention. 

“Ugh, you know I hate this”, I turned towards him and was greeted by his deep dimpled smirk. 

“I know what's making you so upset though! It's that French muggle you met during summer, right? What was his name again? Pierre? Jaques?” 

“Louis. His name was Louis”, I gave back, faking annoyance. 

“Oh come on! That's just the most cliché name there is, right?”, he laughed, walking ahead. 

“No, it's not”, I lied. He was right, and that was awful, because it made me realize how bad my lie that I met this muggle boy at my parents country home in France - and did all these crazy things with him – was.

“I mean I understand you, I still remember the girl I lost my virginity to. She was a muggle as well actually! Lived a few miles down the road”, he teased me. “Maybe I should look her up next time I'm home”, he added thoughtfully. 

“Do whatever floats your boat”, I gave back, trying hard not to storm off at the mention of Mary-Lou, the first girl I was ever jealous of. Her name had burned itself into my brain like the candles had burned a hole into one of Mrs Potter's carpets that New Year's Eve three years ago. 

“Hey, Padfoot, do you still remember Mary-Lou?”, James asked amused as we got back to the other Marauders. 

“Of course how could I forget her! She was one bloody hot girl! Took your v-card after mine though!”, Sirius was roaring with laughter by now. 

“She did what?”, Peter asked, obviously in shock, but I couldn't say I wasn't. This was news to me as well. 

“Wait, what do you mean, you both had your first time with the same girl?”, Remus asked quite horrified. 

“She had me on 24th and him on New Years Eve”, Sirius told us cheekily. 

“I don't know what to do with this information”, Peter took a bite of his pumpkin pastry (the trolley must have been there while we were gone) and looked from Prongs to Padfoot and back. 

“I do though! It means she needed Prongs to get off after sleeping with Pads!”, I giggled cruelly. 

“Oi! That was a low blow Kitten”, Sirius stated, acting hurt, even grasping his uniform right above his heart. 

“Apparently the truth honey”, I smirked at him, earning a high five from Prongs. 

The usual lively atmosphere that was buzzing in the great hall for the start of term feast felt far away for me this year. The realisation that this would be the last time I would hear Professor Dumbledore's iconic speech, or see the terrified faces of the first years sitting on the stool in front of everyone, the sorting hat too huge for their small heads, brought tears to my eyes and I had a hard time acting as though nothing was wrong and join in on the others making fun of Remus' red face when he saw Dorcas Meadows sitting close to us. The truth was, I was so fucking scared of everything to come. Of N.E.W.T.'s, of all the change ahead, of loosing my friends out of sight, of the raging war that could be felt everywhere if it wasn't already talked about by everyone. Most of all, I was afraid of still being hopelessly in love with a person who didn't feel the same way. 

“This place is sick! Bloody sick!”, I laughed, letting myself fall onto the huge king sized canopy bed that stood in the middle of my new room.

James and I had gotten there through a seemingly new door in the Gryffindor common room (Professor McGonnagall had told us that since we were from the same house she saw no problem in us being close to our house mates still, even though we were now Head Boy and Girl). 

“Yes well, I can only fucking agree with you Barclay”, I heard James beam from his room on the other side of our connecting bathroom.

“Makes me forget all the extra work this will mean”, I smiled into the fluffy pillows that surrounded me. 

“Yes, but … don't forget that we get to use the prefect's bathroom as well Kitten!”, Prongs said, walking over into my room and throwing himself down next to me. 

“Ugh, all the bubble baths I'm going to take”, I mused for a second before turning over to face him. 

He smiled affectionately at me before holding up his pinky finger for mine to grab.

“I know you're sad because it's our last year here … But we'd be damned if we don't make the most of it Eleanor. I mean it. We'll go out with a bang.” I gave him a sad smile, my eyes focused on our touching fingers, his skin electrifying mine. 

“And if I hurt you earlier because of that boy from France I'm sorry. You can always come to me when you're love sick, you know that, right? And I know … that it was a huge deal for you doing all this new stuff with him … But look at you, you can easily find somebody 'ere. I mean if we think he's good enough for you”, he tried to cheer me up again, but his words somehow made it all worse. 

I imagined the look on his face, laughing at me, when he found out that all these stories about loosing my virginity and gaining crazy sex experiences were all just that. Stories. 

“I'm not love sick”, I told him. Also a lie. 

“You might be by Christmas though. Once you heard all the ladies screaming out in pleasure from my room”, he joked, a wide, confident grin on his full lips. I groaned. He didn't even realise how right he was about that. 

“Oi! Lucky me!”, Sirius whistled, clearly at the sight that was brought to him once he stormed through my new door without knocking.

“Sod off asshole!”, I screeched, frantically trying to cover myself up, with the next best thing I could grab being my cat. Virgo hissed, he hated it when people grabbed him all of a sudden, but his fuzzy white fur came in handy at the situation I was in. 

“Have you ever heard of knocking?!”, I asked angrily, looking around for a shirt that I could pull over my bra. 

“I mean I did, but that would ruin such moments, wouldn't it?”, he smirked, walking over to the sofa by the small fireplace. 

“What's happening over he- oh la la. Could tell me you were about to strip Kitten”, Prongs came in laughing immediately, Remus and Peter following suit. 

“Great … Just great! I was about to change, okay? That's what people do! Changing into their pyjamas!”, I felt the need to explain myself, trying my best to hold Virgo in place. 

“You could've done that in the bathroom?”, James informed me, tackling Sirius to make some space for him. 

“Yeah, exactly, you wish! I certainly won't put on a peep show for you every night to watch through the keyhole”, I stated. 

“There you go, sweets”, Remus threw the shirt that had lain on the ground over to me. I caught it in one hand and turned around, putting it on after letting my distressed cat down. 

“Poor boy”, James praised him as he found his usual spot in his lap. 

“Oi, some distance please”, Sirius wrinkled his nose like the true dog he was. I rolled my eyes and jumped onto my huge bed, patting next to me for Remus and Peter to lay down. 

“It's lonely without you in the dorm room Prongs”, Pete said, his head comfortable on my shoulder.   
I bit my lip. The thought of the infamous boys of the school being separated (if only by a few rooms), felt strange. 

“Yeah, my room feels pretty lonely too … But at least no one will be snoring”, James gave a pointed look to an embarrassed Moony, which made me nod in agreement. I had slept enough nights with them in the same room to know that Remus was the loudest sleeper to exist. 

“And you Kitten? Glad to have some alone time?”, Sirius changed the subject when everybody had had enough fun on Remus' expense.   
“You make me sound so antisocial”, I grumbled. 

“Aren't you? You don't have any friends besides us! And Hagrid doesn't count!”, Sirius came to a realisation. 

“That's … I'm friends with Alice! And Frank!”, I stated triumphantly. 

“They left school last year, that doesn't count as well”, he invalidated my argument. 

“Fine! I don't need any more friends! I have you lads!”, I told them as they were all watching me with pulled up eyebrows.

“Yeah we're just all … guys. You don't really get along with girls though, don't you?”, Sirius continued his analysis, reluctantly scratching Virgo behind his ear. 

“I get along with plenty of girls! Marlene! I never had a problem with her, right? And I never said a bad thing about Dorcas! Or Lily! Even Mary! I like your cousin Padfoot, Andromeda!”, I came to my own defence, since my other friends were just watching our conversation like a Quidditch match. 

“Yeah, you just complain about them every chance you get! About their hair clogging the drain or them blocking the toilets for too long”, Sirius went on. 

“What's your problem? I never said anything bad about their personalities! I just get along better with boys, is that so wrong? You can leave if you want to!”, I finally took offence, crossing my arms over my chest and looking away from him. 

“I was jus' teasin' you a bit Kitten, don't get into a huff! I wouldn't want to share you with any girls, okay?”, as always Sirius was quick to apologise once he saw that he kind of hurt me.   
He got up from his place from the couch, squeezing onto the bed with the three of us.

“I'll consider forgiving you”, I told him pulling a long lock out of his face and playing with it. 

“Oh, you can't resist me!”, he claimed. 

“Try me”, I offered, squirming my eyes at him. 

“Should we head into the common room for a bit? I wanna get started on that bet?”, James suggested after Sirius and I had finished our jesting. 

“You lads go and have fun, I'll head to bed though like I wanted to before you came”, I told them, already trying to climb out. 

“Oh come on Kitten! We need you there to cheer us on!”, Sirius tried to persuade me. 

“I won't cheer on that”, I told him, shaking my head and walking over to my still full trunk, looking after something to wear. 

“You're no fun today, do you know that?”, James walked over to me, poking my side. I rolled my eyes at him and stuck out my tongue. 

“I won't be any fun tomorrow with a lack of sleep and you all know that”, I pulled out some silky pj bottoms and a matching button up shirt. 

“She does have a point”, Peter agreed, his face growing pale at the thought of my moodiness when I didn't get enough sleep. 

“Oh whatever, you'll sure hear it when I'm successful”, James sort of promised, but to me it sounded more like a threat. A threat that certainly wouldn't let me sleep all night as I would wait for it to be full filled. 

They left my room one after another, but an irking thought made me stop Remus just as he was about to walk out: “Do you think something is wrong with me Moony? Because I don't have any girlfriends?” 

Without hesitation he gave one of his signature crooked smiles and said: “I don't think there's anything wrong with you sweets. I think you choose your friends wisely, which makes me feel rather privileged to be one of them.” 

“Thanks Rem”, I smiled back, glad that he almost always knew what I needed to hear.

“Sleep tight Kitten”, he waved at me. 

“You too Moony.”

As I predicted for myself I laid in bed wide awake, although I was tired enough to sleep through a whole night.  
Everything in my body was tense, waiting for any sound of indication that James was back with some girl. It was quiet enough for me to listen to the sound of my clock ticking and ticking, signalling that it was getting later and later.  
Every now and then I could feel Virgo stirring in his sleep on my duvet, then slightly snoring and becoming still again. It felt silly to stare into the dark, onto the ceiling of my canopy, waiting for something I dreaded instead of just getting the sleep I wanted and needed. I was seventeen now. A legal adult. I should stop myself from being a hormonal, love struck teenager and focus on me. But I couldn't. Every time I tried to think of something else, I was immediately lead back to him. Somehow everything in my life seemed to revolve around him and if it didn't, I made sure it would. And so I laid there, wasting my energy and thoughts for him while he flirted with another girl. 

“Eleanor Barclay, you're a dumb bitch”, I muttered under my breath, tossing and turning, making Virgo jump up furiously. 

I could see him moving because of his piercing yellow eyes and so I watched him jump onto the sofa where James (who apparently was his favourite person just as much as mine) had sat earlier. At least he could get all the scratches he wanted from him without having to ask … Okay, to be fair, I never needed to beg for James to have a cuddle with me, but sill … I felt as though my cat had an easier relationship with him than I did. 

As the time went on, and I tried my best to focus on something trivial, I started digging my nails into the inside of my hands as hard as I could, counting the seconds before I had to let loose. I didn't know why I did it, but feeling something so intensely was the only thing that kept my mind off of James and whatever he did. Or rather whomever.   
I didn't know how long I had been using my rather dubious practice before I heard a delicate knock on my door, but I was sure that there were already some marks. 

“Come in”, I called out, pushing myself to sit up against the pillows. I watched confused as a lit wand appeared in the doorway followed by an illuminated James, wearing some joggers and a plain white t-shirt. 

“Did I wake you?”, he asked worriedly as he stepped closer. I shook my head, wondering if he was looking for condoms or something.  
If he was, he had most certainly knocked on the wrong door.   
He smiled relieved, sitting down onto my bed. Virgo didn't waste any time and jumped onto his lap. I heard James' soft chuckling. 

“What are you doing here?”, I wondered, avoiding to look at him. Instead I inspected the inside of my hands in the soft light. The marks weren't as bad as I thought, in fact, they were already fading. 

“I … I changed and went to bed but I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd come look if you'd take me in”, he turned his head and smiled at me, stroking over Virgo's fur lovingly. 

“You were already back? Alone?”, I asked, refusing to believe that I didn't hear him and my technique had worked so well. 

“Yeah, I tried to be as quite as I could”, he simply said. I nodded, letting it go. 

“So … may I?”, he pointed to the empty pillow next to me and to signal my approval I slid a few inches to the side. 

James threw the blanket back after putting Virgo down and got into bed next to me, scooting as close as possible, which gave me goose-pimples all over my body.  
With a murmured: “Nox”, he put out the light on his wand. 

“I should've stayed with you earlier. Couldn't think about anything else”, he whispered an apology. 

“It's alright”, I forgave him without even thinking. With his smell surrounding me and his heartbeat softly next to me, I felt at ease in a matter of seconds. 

“But I'm always here for you”, he promised, yawning. 

“I know Prongs. And I'm always here for you.”


	3. Chapter 2: Do you remember, the 28th night of September?

Chapter 2: Do you remember, the 28th night of September?

We all started to adjust to school again quickly, with James and I falling into a quite exhausting pattern of studying, Quidditch practice and our head-duties.   
After the first school week the weather had started to change drastically and showed it's usual rainy, foggy and cool side. There wasn't a day that we could go out into the inner courtyard by the transfiguration classroom and not be soaked by the time we went back inside. I didn't have a problem with that weather, in fact, I liked everything outside being dizzy and slowed down while the house-elves started to light the fireplaces in the late afternoons just before everybody came back from class. 

Being back at Hogwarts felt like being home again, no different than all the previous years, yet sometimes there was a noticeable tension when we entered the great hall for breakfast or dinner and 'The Daily Prophet' or 'The Evening Prophet' had arrived, carrying yet another horror story. 

“What is it?”, I asked Peter dreadfully as I watched him reading 'The Prophet' while everyone else loaded their plates with mashed potatoes and steak. 

“An Auror went missing”, he informed me, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice before continuing: “Auror Todd Marshall, 43, was last seen five days ago as he prepared himself for a secret mission, sources tell us that he was about to travel to New York and exchange some important information with a spy from MACUSA.” 

I sighed, all too curious what that information was about, but I was sure that even if Peter continued to read out loud, that wouldn't be revealed. 

“Oi, don't eat too much mate, we have practice in half an hour”, Prongs scolded Sirius who had already gotten himself a second helping. 

“I need some energy Prongs, that quickie in the broom closet earlier drained me more than I thought it would”, Sirius justified his food intake, making me and Remus roll our eyes in unison. 

“Thanks, now my appetite is gone”, I told him, shoving my half-full plate away from me.  
“Apologies Kitten”, he smirked, digging his fork into the steak. 

“How many are you counting Prongsie?”, he asked casually. 

“Two”, James admitted. “Lyssa Carmichael and Jodie Connor.” 

“Ha! Was at number three this afternoon!”, Padfoot celebrated himself, patting his own shoulder which made all of us laugh.

I had known about Lyssa Carmichael, who was a sixth year in Gryffindor. I had had to listen to them half of the night before one of them finally decided that they had been at it long enough. However I had never heard of someone called Jodie Connor. 

“Who's that?”, I asked, trying to sound as bored as I could. 

“Some chick from Ravenclaw, 'think she's two years below us”, James recounted, scratching the hair above his neck.

Looking at him I had to remember that only three years ago his hair looked as messy as one could take, but then in the summer of 1975, his father somehow managed to show him a trick (or was it a potion?) to tame it. Now he had locks on the top of his head to swoon over, the sides cut shorter than the rest.   
The sound of a glass hitting the table a bit too hard made me pull out of my silent admiration of James' hair and act as though nothing had happened. 

“We should get going if we don't wanna be late”, James said after a few minutes of casual conversing about the day and Professor Slughorns new robes. 

“It would look bad for the captain to be the last to show up”, I nodded in agreement, getting up and grabbing the bag I had brought along that was stuffed with my Quidditch clothes. 

“I mean, we'd come along, but it's pouring again and we don't wanna freeze to death on the stands”, Remus told us as he and Peter headed into the direction of the stairs. 

“Will you do the potions homework?”, I asked, hoping for a 'yes'. 

“Think so … Wanna copy it later?”, he offered, knowing how much I had to do anyway. 

“You're a dear”, I declared, blowing him a kiss.

“No I am”, James corrected me grinning sheepishly. I hit him in a playful manner and we parted ways with the others, bracing ourselves for stepping outside in the rain. 

When we entered the changing rooms a few minutes later we weren't as wet as expected, all thanks to our wands with which we conjured some umbrellas. 

“Been waiting for you captain!”, Mary MacDonald laughed when she saw us. Everyone else was already there: Mary, a Chaser and the only other girl on the team, Benji Fenwick, Sirius's counterpart Beater and also a seventh year, Andrew Simmons, the keeper who was in sixth year and Ferguson Smith, the third Chaser that got on the team this year and was in fourth year.   
They were already about to change and so we hurried up and did the same.   
Ready with our Quidditch attire, brooms and the box of balls carried by Sirius and Benji we forced ourselves outside into the rainy evening.

I would unapologetically call myself quite a decent Seaker, but today I had a hard time finding the snitch, or even my teammates to be frank. I heard them yelling at each other, James' voice the loudest as he barked out commandos and advice.   
I flew around the pitch, some rounds higher, some lower, some faster, some slower, but there was still no sign of the snitch. 

“Oi! Bludger!”, I heard a faint cry and a moment later the familiar buzzing of something heavy hitting the air. Out of instinct I pulled my broom to the right with every ounce of power I could bring up. The Bludger missed me by inches and a full “clong” told me that either Sirius or Benji had knocked it into another direction. 

“You okay Barclay?”, Benji asked me through the rain, I could see him fly closer faintly.

“Yes, thanks for the head's up!”, I told him, my hands beginning to slip on my broomstick. 

“Ugh, I hope Potter puts an end to this soon”, Benji said as a roll of thunder made me agree. 

“FENWICK! BARCLAY! DIDN'T YOU HEAR POTTER?”, Andrew came into sight, yelling at the top of his lungs.

“No, what's wrong?”, I asked.   
“We're done. It's too dangerous! He told me to come get you after you didn't show up”, he explained.  
I sighed relieved and leant forward, flying my broom to the ground with the other two following suit. 

“This was a disaster!”, James said as we met him and the rest of the team in front of the tunnels.   
“Did you even find the goal hoops?”, I questioned sliding off my broom and loosing my balance because of the wet grass. 

I fell down on my back rather ungracefully and right into a huge puddle. “By Merlin's beard!”, I cried out raging as I felt the mud squirting everywhere and drenching my already wet clothes.   
“Fuck, El! Are you okay?”, James was by my side in an instant but he couldn't fully hide the amusement in his face while the others were already full on roaring with laughter about my fall.   
“No! I can feel the mud in my knickers!”, I cried out, grabbing the hand he offered me and let him pull me up. 

Angry tears were glistening in my eyes as we went back to the changing rooms, the whole team still laughing on my expense.   
Mary and I vanished into the girls section where I quickly pulled off everything I was wearing and vanished under the shower, turning the water as hot as possible. 

***********************************************************************************James' PoV***************************************************************************************

“Oi, mate! You comin'? I still need to do the charms homework”, Sirius called out, he already stood at the door that would ultimately lead us outside into the rain again. 

“I need to put away the crate first, but go ahead. One of us should wait for Kitten anyway”, I told him, pulling on my shoes. 

“Okay, I'll see you guys in the common room”, he agreed but not without an amused grin at the mention of Eleanor and the thought of her swim in the mud. 

I took my time tidying up the changing room and putting the equipment away, knowing that Eleanor was probably trying to drown herself in the shower. 

“Hey, Kitten! Are you okay?”, I knocked onto the door of the girls changing room. I could hear the shower still running but got no answer.   
Shrugging, I opened the door and stepped in, looking around.

Her dirty, wet clothes were thrown onto the ground and led a trace over to the showers. I hesitantly stepped forward and looked around the corner.   
All the air was sucked out of my lungs once I saw her standing there, the water pouring down onto her light pink hair and steam surrounding her. Her eyes were closed in bliss as she was leaning against the wall for relaxation. 

I couldn't tear my eyes away from her even though I knew that what I did was wrong in not only one way. I also couldn't stop my pants from becoming painfully tight at the sight of her perfect tits that were honestly bigger than I thought and then her ass … I never before realised that her ass was so well formed and just screaming for me to squeeze. Her mouth was just slightly ajar which made her lips look even more plump and full. For a second I found myself imagining what she could do with those lips and that mouth, my cock twitching inside those bloody pants at the thought of her on her knees before me. I gulped and had to force myself to step back, breathing heavily. Out of a knee-jerk reaction I practically ran out of the room, into the rain.

My thoughts were running just as fast I was. 

“She's your best friend, asshole”, I told myself over and over again, sprinting away from the Quidditch pitch, not giving a flying fuck if I was getting wet again or not.   
When I entered the castle and came to a quick halt my cock was still as hard as before and throbbing in my boxers. 

“Bloody hell”, I cursed, the image of Eleanor's naked body flickering in my mind. I had known that she was a pretty girl, I mean everyone knew, and just because she was my best friend that didn't escape my notice. But I never imagined her in that way, never thought about what she might look like without clothes on. Sure, I had to admit that her unbelievably lips had caught my attention once or twice and that the freckles on here face made her look undeniably cute but I really never thought she was this stunning. 

I only stopped again once I was in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady.

“Password?”, she asked me, eyeing my flustered appearance sceptically.

“Lacewing flies”, I told her out of breath. She purposely took her time to open up, which made me curse under my breath before I climbed through the hole into the common room.

“Oi! Prongs! Over here!”, I immediately heard Moonys voice calling out for me.

I looked around and saw him, Sirius and Peter sitting in armchairs around a table, doing some homework. I couldn't manage to utter any words and so I just shook my head and stormed away into the direction of the dorms but instead of taking the stairs upwards I walked straight ahead through the new door and closed it behind me, standing in the corridor that lead to my room. 

***************************************************************************************Eleanor's PoV********************************************************************************

To say I was furious as I trotted up the stairs to Gryffindor Tower would've been an understatement. I could nearly feel steam coming out of both of my ears as I climbed through the portrait hole and into the common room.

“Care to tell me why you couldn't wait for me?!”, I asked, walking over to the corner occupied by Sirius, Peter and Remus. 

“Wasn't my fault! James told me to go 'head. He said he would wait for you!”, Sirius held his hands up in defence, scrutinizing me. Before a mischievous grin formed on his face. 

“Don't you dare”, I glared at him, knowing very well that his intention was to tell our friends about my adventure in the mud. I could see him biting his lip in order to hold the words in, Peter and Remus gave both of us confused looks. 

“What is it with everyone tonight? First Prongs came in about to burst and now you”, Peter wondered aloud. 

“What? Why was he about to burst?”, I wanted to know, sitting down on the armrest of Sirius' armchair. 

“We have no clue. All I know is that he was in a good mood before I left for the castle. I thought you two might've got into a fight or something”, Sirius shrugged. 

“Well, but I haven't seen him since running into the changing rooms. He never waited for me. When I got out of the shower everything was quiet and I was alone”, I recounted, looking over the parchments that covered the table in the middle of us. 

“Dunno what got into him”, Remus commented as well, sensing my searching gaze and handing me his potions homework. 

“You're a lifesaver”, I told him seriously, taking a piece of parchment from Peter and his quill that laid beside it, and began copying.

“Slughorn hasn't said anything yet about me missing two assignment but I'm not sure how long that'll last”, I told them, since it was unusual for me to copy homework. 

“You couldn't do any wrong in his eyes Kitten”, Peter chuckled, referring to the fact that I was one of our potion professor's favourites. I sighed, because even that couldn't safe me from an eventually bad grade. 

Once I finished and handed Remus his essay back, I lent against Sirius shoulder, exhaustion overcoming me. 

“It's been 28 days of school and I'm already so in need of Christmas break”, I mumbled, my hair falling into my face and covering it. 

“I have to admit, I quite envied you and James for becoming Heads, but now that I see how much work that is I'm rather glad I stayed a simple prefect”, Remus told me, failing to pity me. 

“You could always retire as Seeker though, couldn't you?”, Peter suggested innocently. 

“No she couldn't! We want to win that bloody cup one last time and she's the best Seeker of the whole school”, Sirius made his position clear.

I nodded, silently agreeing with him. It was also my dream to win the Quidditch cup one last time with two of my best friends and the other seventh years in the team. We hadn't lost one time since James was appointed captain a few years ago. 

“Then I guess you'll have to get used to it”, Remus shrugged, his hand roaming through the pocket of his signature cardigan and finding a chocolate bar. 

James was long gone when I went to the bathroom the next morning. He had left a mess of wet towels and worn boxers though, which I, rather disgusted, cleaned up with a snap of my wand. Already annoyed I quickly combed through my hair and put on some mascara before pulling on the school uniform and my Head Girl badge. 

In the common room, only Remus was waiting up for me. 

“Where are the others?”, I asked him as we climbed through the Fat Lady. 

“Let me think: I have no clue were James is, but Sirius and Peter left early to … ehm organize something”, he said, mischief in his smile. 

“And what exactly is that, if I may ask?”, I raised my eyebrows at him. As far as I knew, they hadn't done any huge pranks yet this school year, and we were already one month in.

“You're Head Girl Kitten … I really can't tell you”, Remus looked at me, at least some shame in his face. 

“That's unfair! Does James know of it?!”, I asked, once again cursing Dumbledore for giving me the damn badge. 

“Well … not about this one, at least not really”, he admitted as we turned into the great hall. 

I gave him a questioning look while we walked over to an empty space at the Gryffindor table. Neither James nor Peter or Sirius could be seen as we sat down.

“Well, he knows that we plan on doing it, actually it was kind of his idea, but he doesn't know that we'll do it today”, he said, scratching his head of walnut-brown hair. I glared at him, truly hurt that they apparently didn't include me in their prank-planning any more. 

“You wouldn't find it funny anyway”, he tried to talk himself out of it, which only made me roll my eyes at him. 

“I can decide that by myself.” 

On the way to the greenhouses I was still a bit angry with Remus and didn't jump on his tries to make casual conversation. It was a foggy morning, no wonder after the storm yesterday. Other than that, it was also way too cold for the end of September and I decided to look for my winter robes in the evening. 

Entering greenhouse three, I could already see Sirius' and Peter's childlike excited smiles from the far end of the table rows where we usually sat. Once we were at our places, I couldn't help but notice that James had sat himself at the far end of the table, with the wall next to him and Peter on the other side, who normally sat there. Throwing a confused look his way, which he seemed to either not see or ignore, I sat down next to Sirius, my mood falling rather quickly. 

Since Professor Sprout had made it clear that the N.E.T.W.s. in Herbology wouldn't be achieved easily, she had made it her mission to spend at least one lesson each week on revision, today's topic were Fanged Geranium but my low spirits didn't make it exactly easy to listen to her rather dry lamenting of theory. 

As I was resting my head on my hands, my elbows propped up on the table, my eyes felt heavier and heavier. 'Shutting them for a second won't hurt', I told myself, but just as I was about to close my eyes I noticed Peter and Sirius shuffling suspiciously next to me and only a second later an awfully loud noise came out of the blue and the sprinkler system started to seemingly work on his own. 

I let out a high pitch scream as the ice cold water hit me from every possible ankle and out of the corner of my eye I could see my friends laughing their asses off, all of them besides James holding up their wands as umbrellas. Still, it didn't lessen James' amusement and I kind of understood why: Professor Sprout had stood directly over one of the sprinkler and the pressure (probably magically increased) that had been on the water had catapulted her to the glass ceiling where she was held by the water for a few seconds before crashing down onto her bottom. 

I bit the inside of my cheeks to not burst into laughter as she turned the sprinklers of with a furious snap of her wand.   
With her face in the colour of a ripe cherry, she glared through the rows before her eyes landed on Sirius, Peter and Remus. 

“You three! DETENTION! Tonight, tomorrow and on Saturday!”, she shouted, getting up and drying herself with another silent spell. She turned her back towards the class, hissing as she rubbed the spot she fell on. Now everybody was laughing, not caring if they got wet as well. 

“You are idiots”, I giggled as Sirius lazily dried all of us with a quick wave of his wand. 

The prank had been successful, and if only in the aspect that James seemed to be back to his normal self. He was lively again and talking, although every time our eyes crossed, he quickly looked into a different direction.   
Still, the day could continue in a more normal way than the night before and that morning. After lunch we had a free period which we spent in the library, working on the lines Professor Sprout had given the whole class as a punishment. 

“See, we knew we'd get detention. That's why we didn't tell you about it. Don't wanna get your good reputation ruined now that you're Head Girl”, Remus whispered while stretching his wrist after not pausing his writing for five minutes straight. 

“As if Dumbledore would have ripped that Badge off of my robes”, I rolled my eyes, dipping my quill into the ink. 

“No, he'd let you get away since you're his god-daughter”, Sirius teased me, splashing a bit of ink onto my parchment. 

“Shut the fuck up Padfoot”, I hissed angrily. 

“What, I always thought that that's why you and James got the job”, he laughed at my reaction, knowing very well what to say to make me even angrier. 

“Shut up! I told you not to talk about that!”, I reminded him about the time when I told them that the school's headmaster, my grandpa's best friend, was my godfather. 

“Pad, that was out of line. Dumbledore doesn't chose the Heads on his own. The teachers will have their reasons for appointing these two, right James?”, Remus stepped in, noticing the threatening look Madam Pince had thrown our way when I had gotten a bit louder than intended. 

“What? What are we talking about?”, James shook his head, turning it towards us.

“Didn't you listen?”, Pete asked him amused.

James gave us an apologetic smile, his head motioning to something behind us. We discreetly turned around to see a brunette Hufflepuff trying to return a book into a space that was to high and thus, her skirt was showing more of her thighs than the school rules would ever allow. 

“Assholes”, I mumbled under my breath, kicking James against his shin and pushing on elbow into Pete's side the other into Sirius', while taking a quick, sharp breath to suppress the hurt at James' lustful stare that was certainly not directed at myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello y'all!  
> I would be over the moon if you would review this chapter!  
> Stay safe and at home!


	4. I've Been Running with a Wolf

Chapter 3: I've Been Running with a Wolf

The change of weather didn't last long. A week into October and the clouds were hanging down heavily yet again. The dampness had crept into the walls of the school and everybody had pulled out their house scarves and hats already.  
The ever grey skies weren't the only thing weighing my mood down though. For once in my whole time at Hogwarts, I realized how stressful school could be. With the duties of a Head Girl, Quidditch practice almost every evening, the pressure every teacher already put on us -even though N.E.W.T.s were in the last trimester of the year - and the full moon being hours away, my senses were heightened and everything felt too much, too loud or too fast. 

While I was rushing out of the library, three heavy books in my arms, I was trying to calm myself down. Being overly nervous and anxious would only be another problem tonight.  
I had nearly forgotten about full moon approaching until yesterday evening after practice, when I hast just sat in an armchair, trying to stretch my aching muscles, taking a five minute break of the Transfiguration homework, and noticed Remus' exhausted, sickly looking face. I scolded myself internally for not keeping track of the calendar and only focusing on my own problems. Luckily enough for me, Peter had brought the conversation to the dreaded event, asking if everything was ready for the next day. It saved me from having to expose myself and ask for the exact date of the full moon.  
Unfortunately, I had to skip dinner tonight, seeing as though I still had to write a report for Professor Dumbledore and plan out a new prefect schedule for making rounds at night and now, even with the extra time I had saved from dinner, I was still running late to store away my things and meet with the boys in the entrance hall. However, I couldn't help myself when I quickly passed my reflection in a mirror in the hallway. I stopped in my tracks, shocked at my appearance. My hair was tangled in wild knots, my pony tail had nearly dissolved and my face was pale, smudged mascara only highlighting the rings under my eyes. There was a pumpkin juice stain on my grey jumper and my white blouse was wrinkled at the sleeves. Sighing, I tried to rub the mascara away from under my eyes but had to accepted that that was a loosing game only seconds later. With on last devastated look at myself I left the mirror and hallway behind and jogged for the seventh floor. 

After I had changed into leggings, a warm sweater and a raincoat, I had to run to arrive in the entrance hall in time. At least, it was a quick workout, because today was the only evening James didn't schedule a practice. But even though we had trained so hard these last days, I was still panting when I reached the boys, earning and amused look from Sirius. 

“We really need to work on your fitness”, he stated. I glared over at him, breathing to fast. 

“Don't start this fight now”, I warned him, the headache that hadn't left me in days growing worse at the thought of his teasing. 

“Yeah, we should get going”, Peter stated, pushing Sirius ahead of himself. 

Luckily for us, the clouds hadn't revealed the full moon yet and so we thought ourselves save on the way to the Whomping Willow. The rain made it impossible to walk fast without slipping on the muddy grass and so we had to slow our pace down. 

“Shit, hurry up Moony!”, Peter called out. 

I followed his eyes, looking up at the sky and the cloud that was swept away from the wind, revealing the bright, dangerous sight of the full moon. I could have killed Peter on the spot. If he hadn't turned everyone's attention to the moon, we might have made it to the shrieking shack safe and sound. But now, as Remus' eyes were fixed on the cruel light of his greatest enemy, we all knew that this wouldn't go as planned.  
Watching Remus transition was like a form of torture for us as well. Seeing one of your best friends hurt in such a way and not being able to help him was gut wrenching. The only thing we could do in that moment was leaving our human bodies behind and turn into our animagi form.  
I closed my eyes while transforming.  
Contrary to James and Sirius, I absolutely loathed running around as an animal and only did it when absolutely necessary: on nights like this. 

It wasn't as though I didn't feel comfortable in the body of the strong lioness. But the power that was radiating from the body of the Queen of all animals felt nerve-wrecking. And it didn't help my anxiety one bit, being trapped in a body which, naturally, had much stronger senses than my human version.  
I could hear the beating hearts of each of my friends. They were all a bit to fast, but Remus' was completely out of control, signifying, that while Sirius, James, Peter and I had turned into normal animals, he was now something straight out of a nightmare. 

Neither the rat, the black dog, the stag nor I moved. We all waited for the werewolf to become aware of his surroundings and do something. It took seconds and then, a loud, horrifying howl was echoing across the castle grounds, making my sensitive ears ring. 

My lioness body tensed, ready for attack or defence, it didn't matter. The werewolf looked around, his black eyes taking in each of his friends before him. His arched body was obviously still adjusting but then, out of nowhere, he scratched at the wet floor and leaped forward.  
While the mind of the animal I had become was set on attacking the monster in front of it, years of training had helped me to push it aside and be rational. I knew we couldn't stay on the grounds for everyone to see and so I let a threatening growl leave through my teeth and sprinted towards the Whomping Willow.  
Thank Merlin, Peter had understood and did his job at finding the weak point of the magical tree, making it's branches slow down and letting me slide through the underground entrance to the shrieking shack. 

Being a beast of prey had it's advantages still. For example, I could smell my other friends and could be sure that they were following me through the tunnel. I could also smell Remus, his scent making my nose itch uncomfortablely. I kept running ahead, going straight for the first room in the haunted house when I heard a troubled whimper. I stopped immediately, turning around. My eyes, that were perfectly able to see in the dark, didn't take long to find the source of the sound.  
The werewolf's paw had hurled the black dog against a wall and was now hovering over it with snarling teeth. It didn't take a second for the stag to push it's antlers into the side of the werewolf, which made him loose balance and fall to the ground. Remus howled angrily, now focusing on the stag that was facing him, breathing heavily. 

I had to take a moment to readjust to my human form. For a second I felt as though I was blind, the change from being able to see in the dark to almost complete darkness was tough. But when the dancing dots before my eyes had vanished I rushed over to the stag that was huddled against the walls of the tunnel, looking miserable. Next to James, was an already transformed Sirius. His dog form had tried to help him but Remus had thrown him against one of the ailing, wooden pillars and a splinter had slit open his right front paw. 

“Are you okay?”, I asked, out of breath.

“Been better. Where are Moony and Wormtail?”, he questioned, his left hand clenched into a fist. 

With a quick wave of my wand I illuminated the tip of it to get a better look at his injury. 

“I lured him upstairs into the old bedroom. Peter is barricading the door”, I explained, getting down into the dirt in front of him. 

He sighed, disgruntled.  
“I know it's far from ideal to leave him alone. He's probably gonna hurt himself, but somebody needed to look after you two … And this isn't just a scratch”, I diagnosed, a bile forming in my throat at the sight of the blood dripping from his hand and wrist.

“I know! Fuck!”, Sirius screamed as I applied some pressure around the wound with my fingers. 

“I'm sorry, shsh. I'm sorry. We need to get you and James to the hospital wing”, I said matter-of-factly, before conjuring a bandage. 

“There are still splinters in the wound”, I mumbled, adding, “this is gonna hurt like hell.” I wrapped the bandage around his hand and wrist, as tightly as I could to stop the bleeding.  
Sirius' face became even paler than it had already been as he tried to suppress a pained scream. 

“I hope this works”, I mumbled, unsure of my first aid skills. Sirius was breathing way to fast for me to ask him if he could help me and so I simply told him to wait while I was looking for James. 

“James, its me”, I said, quietly enough as to not scare him.  
I reached my hand out for his head and gave him a few soothing strokes over his fur that wasn't exactly soft but not rough either. 

He looked up, his dark, in pain twisted eyes found mine and eased. 

“You need to transform James. Do you hear me?”, I gulped at the thought of how much this would hurt, having experienced transforming with an injury.

The stag let out a troubled breath and in the light that was transcending from the tip of my wand I could watch James turn back into his human from.  
I couldn't help the gasp escaping my lips once the normal James was there on the ground in front of me. Blood was streaming out of a wound on his head and his leg looked nearly dislocated.

“Fuck!”, James hissed, his face twisted in agony.  
He looked at me, pleadingly, before taking a glance at his leg. Without much thinking I conjured another set of bandages and got on my knees next to James. 

“Are you hurt?”, he questioned immediately, scanning my body for any signs of an injury.  
I shook my head, motioning for him to hold my wand while I took a closer look at his head.

“He smashed you against the wall”, I mumbled, starting to dress the wound. 

“Ouch! It's too tight”, James complained the moment I applied a bit more pressure.  
I stopped myself from rolling my eyes, knowing that he tended to be overly dramatic in these kind of situations, but then again, I didn't want to assume how much it really hurt.

“I'm sorry, but I need to stop the bleeding. I don't know what else to do, I'm not a healer”, I apologized, softly pushing a lock out of his forehead. 

“Don't think you'd make the best either. Or a nurse for that matter”, Sirius added in.  
He had gotten up, and although he was a bit pale, he seemed in a far better condition than James. 

“We should wait for Pete”, I decided, yet I was unsure if it was the best idea.  
I didn't want to leave Peter alone with Remus, but I also couldn't leave James and Sirius to go to the hospital wing alone. 

“No need to. I locked the door up, he won't be able to come out unless he turns back and uses his wand”, the heavily breathing form of Peter, jogging towards us, let me be a little more at ease. 

“I hope he's gonna be okay. I'll tell Madam Pomfrey immediately”, I said, glancing into the darkness that lead to the Shrieking Shag, worriedly biting my lip.

It was a rather tough walk back to the castle. Peter helped me to move James, who now definitely wasn't exaggerating his pain. With every step we made, he seemed to become weaker, tiny pearls of sweat forming on his face and he wasn't just trembling because of the cold. 

“We need to hurry up”, Sirius stated as though it would be of any help. 

“Oh wow, thanks for the head's up”, I spit back at him, not mentioning that he wouldn't be any faster on his own. 

“We're nearly there. Peter, you go ahead and tell Madam Pomfrey that we're coming”, I suggested, or maybe I even ordered.  
I have been told that I tend to get bossy in stressful situations, but honestly, how was I supposed to know?

“Yeah, sure, you're not gonna be able to get him there on your own. Grumpy over there won't be of any help”, Peter disagreed, making me smile, if only a little.  
Even if I was bossy in situations like this, he was trying not to take any of it. 

“But she'll be asleep. It's all gonna go faster if you wake her now. I promise I can manage”, I said seriously, as we stepped onto the Clock Tower Courtyard.  
Of course, it was only due to the adrenaline running through my body ever since turning into an animal and then watching James being crashed against that tunnel wall, with Sirius following only seconds later, that I was still able to walk straight, but nobody had to know that, right?  
Peter seemed to contemplate his options for a few seconds before deciding that it was probably for the best to not contradict, and so he nodded and started to run (it was always a bit odd to see him run when he was not the athletic type at all), not before throwing me a concerned look. 

I had most certainly overestimated myself, because dragging ( and there was no other way of calling it other than dragging) James up the stairs to the second floor, was probably the most exhausting thing I ever did. His pained grunts every time we got to another step didn't make it any easier. Neither did Sirius. A few minutes ago I was sure he would make it to the hospital wing without any further complications, he now seemed to run out of power. 

“Is your hand still bleeding?”, I asked when James and I had taken the last step and he needed a short break to handle the pain. 

“Think so”, Sirius mumbled, sounding as tired as if he had been awake for three days straight. 

James was nearly unconscious, he leant his full body weight onto me, which would have crushed me if Madam Pomfrey wouldn't have burst out of the double doors of her hospital wing, storming towards us, with Peter following right behind her. 

“Oh Merlin”, she shook her head, taking in the sight in front of her and then she and Peter got on either side of James and lifted him off of me. 

Fighting to stay awake in Defence Against The Dark Arts was nearly as hard as helping James' up the stairs only a few hours earlier.  
When both James and Sirius were taken care of and Madam Pomfrey promised me that with enough rest, come evening, they would be good to leave her care again, it was already half past four in the morning. The nurse wanted me to go to bed, clearly seeing how drained I was, but after the adrenaline rush had ended, the images of James' face, twisted in pain and the feeling of his weight nearly crushing me wouldn't leave me alone. I had reassured her that I was fine and that she needn't worry and although I knew she didn't believe a single word I said, she offered me a chair and let me stay in between James' and Sirius' beds. 

Right before it had been time for classes, Remus had dragged himself into the hospital wing. On my first examination, he didn't seem injured and so when he crashed onto one of the beds, Madam Pomfrey not bothering to make of fuss about the mess he'd make on the sheets, some of the tension in my body vanished. I could have fallen asleep right then and there, now knowing that every one of them was safe and would heal again.  
Just when had been toying with the idea of sneaking into my room and just skip school for the day, Pete had shown up, slightly more rested than I, and was ready to take on the day. 

“Did you get anything he said?”, I yawned, pointing to Peter's notes while Professor Parr was dismissing the class. 

“Bits and pieces”, he handed me the parchment, looking unsure of himself. 

“Ugh Pete, I thought you were over the dripping ink phase”, I mumbled, seeing as though he was left handed, his notes were almost always smeared. 

“Sorry. Remus knows a spell for it though, you can ask him later”, he suggested, throwing his bag over his shoulder as we headed for the door. 

“Miss Barclay! A minute, if you could”, Professor Parr called just before we exited.  
Sighing, I told Peter to go ahead to dinner and not wait for me, pretty sure that I would be getting a warning because I didn't pay any attention to his lesson.

“Professor Dumbledore has asked me to tell him that he wishes to meet you in his office after classes end. The Password is 'Jelly Slugs'”, was definitely not what I had expected, but it wasn't any better either.  
Another obligation I had to attend to, which made sleep seem further and further away. 

“Alright, thank you Professor”, I said, barely suppressing a yawn yet again. 

“And maybe next time, you could try and come to my lesson well rested”, he added, although he didn't sound too strict.  
After assuring him that it wouldn't happen again, I made my way to the headmaster's office as fast as I could, taking every secret passageway I knew of to spare me some time. 

“These disgusting mudbloods are everywhere”, an all too familiar voice said just as I was walking through the third floor.  
Out of curiosity and because I didn't have the energy to face Severus Snape and his entourage of Slytherins, I didn't turn around the corner to the Gargoyle Corridor and instead waited, hidden.  
“I hope once the Dark Lord claims the power he's gonna do something about it”, another said, probably Mulciber, who could be recognized through his Irish accent. 

“Oh I assure you that. They won't be spared any longer and certainly won't be treated as equals to us”, Snape said pretty confidently.  
In front of my inner eye, I could imagine his greasy head along with his ever mean face right in front of me. 

“How can you be so sure about all of this?”, somebody else asked, a voice I didn't knew.  
Carefully I took a quick glance around the wall to see a boy, younger than me, who, judging by his looks, could have been the younger brother of Reginald Flint, a Slytherin who had left the school two years ago. 

“Doubt is something the Dark Lord won't tolerate”, Mulciber stated brusquely, his cold voice making me shiver. 

“We should get going”, Snape decided suddenly, there was rummaging and hoped that they wouldn't leave into my direction.  
Thankfully, they didn't turn around them and I could hear their steps become more quiet after a few moments. 

“Thank you for visiting on such short notice.” Albus Dumbledore greeted me immediately when I stepped out of the moving stone staircase and into his circular office.  
He sat behind his enormous, claw-footed desk. 

“Can't say no to the headmaster, can you?”, I jabbed, sitting down opposite to him.  
Over the years of frequently visiting him here, the feeling of being so small in front of that desk and being utterly inferior had nearly vanished. He gave me a small smile, knowing that I was only joking. 

“I was wondering how you were faring. We haven't had the chance to properly sit down and talk yet since the summer”, he said while he was waving his wand and a tray of sandwiches and some hot tea appeared right next to me.  
Thank Merlin he was able to see that I was about to starve without my stomach having to roar first. 

“It's quite alright I guess. Bit stressful, with Quidditch, being a head girl and oh yeah, my final year. Not to mention that last night was a full moon”, I answered, careful not to sound too whiny. 

“I understand that. Madam Pomfrey has reported to me that Mr Potter, Mr Black and Mr Lupin are good to go and sleep in their own beds tonight. She told me about you heroically carrying James to the hospital wing”, he couldn't help but smiling warmly at me as I helped myself to a cup of tea. 

“Looking at it now, it was rather dumb, but whatever. My muscles will probably still be sore at the game on Saturday”, I stated, stretching my feet under the table. 

“Before I forget it, your parents wrote, telling me they were worried that you hadn't replied to their letter yet. You know I hate to be a mother hen, but as your godfather it's sort of my responsibility to remind you of such things when you forget about them”, he said casually, clearing his desk of parchments and quill before taking a sandwich.  
I hit my hand against my forehead, backing his assumption about my forgetfulness. 

“I'll write to them tomorrow, I promise. By the way, I overheard a few Slytherins just before I got here. They were talking about You Know Who, saying things like that they hoped he would free Hogwarts of muggleborns, just they didn't say muggleborns”, I told him, sipping on my tea, the heat of the cup had a calming effect on me. 

“Did you see who it was?”, my godfather asked, sitting up straight in his chair.  
The usual snoring of the portraits of the other headmasters got an octave higher, signalling that they were probably listening to us. 

“Snape and Mulciber. But they were like … recruiting someone. Not sure who he was but he looked like he might be Reginald Flint's younger brother. You should have heard the way they talked about this manic. They see him like some sort of saviour”, I shuddered at the thought, pulling one of my legs up to my chest. 

“Grant is his name I believe. Grant Flint. It's good that you came to me with this. I think it's rather concerning that they are talking about it so openly now, but I'm afraid that I can't do anything against it”, he sighed, suddenly looking nearly as tired as I did. 

“The kid wasn't too sure about the whole thing though. They're getting brave, trying to lure in mere children now”, I shook my head, wondering if they would get to him.  
They probably would though, considering that the Flints were an old pure blood family and he was still too young to really be able to resist them. That fact made it all the more clever for them to start recruiting Voldemorts followers at such a young age. 

Four cups and a few wisdoms later I was back at the Gryffindor common room. Neither of the boys were there so I decided to head straight to the bathroom for well needed shower. 

After washing all the sweat and worry off of my body, and some extra time under the hot water to soothe my muscles I grabbed my towel and stepped out of the shower in the same moment that James entered the bathroom.

“Bloody hell! For Merlin's sake: KNOCK! Didn't you hear the shower?”, I clenched my hand above my heart in shock before realizing that I stood in front of him, soaked, and in maybe the smallest towel I could have grabbed. 

“Sorry, love. I just wanted to catch you before you went to bed”, he apologized with a sheepish grin on his face. 

I leaned against the sink, so that my dripping hair wouldn't make a mess on the floor, and inspected him quickly. His leg seemed fine again and thanks to Madam Pomfrey the scar on his head was already fading (she had a special ointment for wounds). He looked as though he had already showered himself, because his hair was clean again and looked even more fluffy than usual. If anything let it slip that he had had quite the night it was the not quite vanished paleness in his face. 

“How are you feeling? Does your leg hurt? Your head?”, I asked quietly as he took a step towards me. 

“My leg's fine. Head's a bit buzzing still but other than that, I think I'm better off than you are right now”, he commented before handing me another towel for my hair.  
Guilt flashed through his eyes as he noticed how exhausted I looked. Great, so the shower hadn't done any good.

“Why didn't you go to sleep when Madam Pomfrey took care of us?”, he questioned as I dried my hair provisionally. 

“You should have seen yourself. Couldn't just leave you there and Sirius wasn't that much better off than you. Remus had me worried as well”, I mumbled, the image of his deformed leg, the blood streaming out of his head and the weight of his body leaning against mine came crushing in on me. 

“They're both fine now. Probably asleep already”, he suspected. 

“That's good”, I whispered and I couldn't keep the tears from forming in my eyes any more. It was probably out of relief (and the lack of sleep) that I couldn't even begin to keep them in. 

“Love, everybody's okay now. No need to cry”, James shushed me at once, not bothering about my sticky, wet body, and pulling me into his arms. 

“I was so fucking worried that I wouldn't get you to the hospital wing in time. I only realized that now. I had such an adrenaline rush”, I cried into his shoulder, my fingers digging into his shirt. 

James only repeated that everything was alright and rocked us slowly from left to right. 

“Wanna crash at mine tonight?”, he asked when I had my crying under control again.  
I nodded weakly. My mind wasn't up for the internal debate I should have had with myself. I only wanted to know that he was safe and well and it was probably for the best if I had him next to me tonight. 

As I had predicted my body was still aching on the morning of the first Quidditch game of the season.  
Gryffindor against Ravenclaw.  
James, all in his Captain mood and set on winning, wouldn't hear any of my whining and so I had stopped last evening, knowing that it wouldn't help me any way.  
After four years on the team, I wasn't really nervous before the game. I knew that we had been practising enough and everybody was in shape for the match, so I didn't worry too much about the outcome.  
Everybody was full on confident that we would win the match, so it was easy for James to hype us up, especially because we could hear the other Gryffindors cheering in the stadium already as we left the changing rooms. 

Maybe it was some karma thing because we were so sure about ourselves or it was just bad luck, but after ten minutes, in which James had scored twice and Mary once, a Bludger that Sirius had chased after like a madmen had hit Andrew straight into his shoulder and made him fall off of his broom into the sand beneath the goal hoops.  
We were without a keeper. 

I knew that I was now the only one who could secure our victory and so, despite my burning muscles I pushed my broom to the maximum while Ravenclaw scored goal after goal and I searched frantically for the one thing that would make us win this match.

I saw the Snitch just above the spectator ranks, flying above a first year's head. Luckily, Ravenclaws Seeker, a rather tall boy in sixth grade, was heavier than I and thus couldn't fly as fast although he must have seen the desired object just when I did. I reached the Golden Snitch before him and closed my fist around it, not thinking of letting it go. 

“Eleanor Barclay caught the snitch! Gryffindor wins 200 to 190, despite having lost their Keeper!”, the voice of Freddy Greggson, the commentator from Hufflepuff, announced, his voice ringing in my ears just like the screams of the Gryffindor fans.  
I sped to the ground, making a spectacular stop and nearly crashed together with the rest of our team. 

James and Sirius were quick to lift me onto their shoulders and push me into the air. I squealed happily, raising my right arm up, the Snitch still safely in my hand. 

“You saved our asses Eleanor!”, Sirius shouted, the celebration was deafening. 

“Gladly!”, I laughed and motioned for the two of them to let me down.  
My other teammates huddled around me, until we were a knot of people, all hugging each other.

“You really did a great job there Kitten”, James whispered in my ear, the warmth of his breath tickling slightly.  
He was the last to hug me and for a moment it seemed like he wouldn't let go of me again. His hard chest against mine, the noise and our celebrating team seemed to fade away quickly. 

“Wouldn't know what to do without you. Saved my life and my reputation all in one week”, I could practically hear his smile and I was confirmed when his grip on me loosened a bit and he pulled his head back – just far enough to be able to look into my eyes. 

“You always have that shimmer in your eyes when we win. It's one of my favourite sights in the world”, he mumbled, his nose nearly touching mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would be overjoyed if you left a comment!  
> Stay healthy!


	5. Trick or Treat (Truth or Dare)

Chapter 4: Trick or Treat (Truth or Dare)

Eleanor:

Halloween was, at least to most of the student body at Hogwarts, nearly as important a holiday as Christmas. So it was no wonder that on the days ahead of the festivity, costumes, sweets and decorations was all everybody talked about, especially the upper classes of Gryffindor house. 

“Thank Godric you two didn't turn into complete stuck ups since being Heads”, Sirius laughed as we were in full planning mode for the annual Halloween Party in the Gryffindor common room.

“We'll never say no to a good party, right' love?”, James' swung his arm around me and pulled me into his side, his eyes glistening with anticipation. 

“Do you lads have your costumes?”, I asked around, remembering how Peter told me he would be going as Merlin, but the others hadn't let anything slip. 

“Prongsie and I will be going as Vampires. It's the sexiest idea we came up with”, Sirius told me, smirking confidently. 

“I heard that Dorcas' wanted to go as some sort of medieval princess so I thought I could go as a knight? If that makes sense?”, Remus said, sounding uncertain. 

“That's such a cute idea Moony! In fact, it's so cute, it could've been mine!”, I encouraged him, fantasizing about James' being as whipped with me as Remus was with Dorcas.

“And you Kitten? Please don't say sexy kitten”, James burst out in laughter at his own dumb joke. 

“Duh, no, idiot. My costume arrived today. But I still have some last detailing to do”, I kept the mystery. 

“Oh come on! We told you ours, now you have to at least give us a hint!”, Pete demanded, ridding himself of the crumbs from the pumpkin pastry he had stolen from the kitchens.

“Fine. I'm gonna have wings. But that's everything I'm saying”, I gave in rather quickly, since I was just way too excited about my costume. 

“I hate it when you're so secretive. You do that every year with your costume”, James poked my side, wanting to annoy me for annoying him. 

“Oh come on, you know I love that!”, I huffed, slightly slapping his hand.  
He playfully rolled his eyes before snuggling deeper into the cushions of the couch we were laying on.  
I couldn't help but close my eyes for a mere second, the feeling of warmth from the fireplace and James' body next to me made me feel more ease than I had felt in weeks. 

On the day of the 31st I had trouble getting up. The meeting with the prefects the night before had taken until way past midnight, simply because we all didn't concentrate on the matters we needed to discuss and instead drifted of to way less important stuff like the upcoming party, but since James and I had to give our monthly report back to Professor Dumbledore today, we had to force everyone to be a bit more mature at a certain point. A point that we had delayed way too long. 

I crawled out of bed, Virgo fussing at my movement like every morning, and made my way to the thankfully empty bathroom. 

Without much effort I braided my hair into some loose, short pigtails and brushed my teeth, not even bothering to put on make up. 

“Oh, you're in here”, James burst into the room.  
“Is it so fucking hard to knock, Prongs? You do that every morning! And then you're all surprised that I'm here! I mean, if you would knock before entering, you would know that I'm using the bathroom!”, I began my everyday rant, turning to face him, so that my anger would be more clear to him, but when I saw him standing in the door frame everything I wanted to say was blown out of my head. 

James stood there in all his shirtless glory, black curls ruffled and messy from the night, a sheepish grin on his face.  
“You're not really angry at me Kitten. You can't be”, he scratched his neck, looking down at me, still smiling. 

I couldn't manage to answer him, it was like every one of my brain cells was focused on his damned abs. 

“I know I'm hot”, he chuckled, his confidence filling not only the room, but probably the whole castle. 

“Wha-, You're... You're … I was just staring at Virgo!”, I weakly tried to defend myself, pointing at my cat that had made it's way into James' room and got comfortable on his pillow. 

“Sure thing Kitten”, James winked cockily before pushing through to the sink. 

“Whatever, I'm hungry, so you better hurry up, or I won't be waiting for you”, I told him after regaining my composure. 

“Don't have to wait up for me, love. I told Tess Marx I'll be walking her down to breakfast”, he said nonchalantly. I raised my eyebrows, trying to act as casually as I could while wondering who this new toy was. 

“Ravenclaw”, he said through his toothbrush. 

I nodded quickly before walking out of the bathroom, knowing that it would be useless to try and get Virgo to come with me. His favourite place on earth was James' bed … well, second favourite to James' lap. 

I strode into the common room, bag on my shoulder, a grumpy look on my face. 

“You know I'll just never be able to take you serious with that pout on your lips”, Remus laughed as I came to a halt in front of him, Pete and Sirius. 

“Cute lips though”, Peter quickly said, knowing not to mess with that look on my face. I shot him a short, grateful smile, before glaring at Remus. 

“Light up love, it's freaking spooky season!”, Sirius nudged my shoulder, actually bringing a genuine smile onto my face at the thought of tonight's party. 

“Where's Prongs?”, Remus asked confused as I was heading for the portrait hole without waiting for him. 

“Getting all dolled up I guess”, I sighed, trying to make a joke out of it so that they wouldn't suspect me being grumpy because of the fact that he wouldn't be coming to breakfast with us. 

“Do elaborate”, he kept pestering. 

“He's meeting up with some Ravenclaw … Tess Marx I think”, I told him, the annoyance hard to hide. 

“No! Not her! I wanted her! She's smokin!”, I heard Sirius complain behind me. Well, that information definitely boosted my ego into the sky. 

James didn't show for breakfast on that Friday morning and so I had to walk up to the teacher's table on my own and wordlessly hand the monthly report about the prefects patrol to my godfather, which was met with confusion from his side, but in that moment I couldn't have cared less.  
The image of James getting it on with Tess Marx, who really was smoking hot (I remembered her after Sirius hadn't stopped describing her ass and boobs throughout the entirety of our walk to the Great Hall), had burned itself into my mind and nothing, not even fresh bacon and scrambled eggs, could get it out of my system. 

Five minutes after our Charms class had started, James walked through the door of the classroom. He couldn't have looked smugger while slowly walking to his seat in between Sirius and I. His hair was, just like two hours ago, ruffled up, but this time not by sleep but quite clearly by hands tugging at it. 

“Care to explain why you're late Mr Potter?”, Professor Flitwick asked in his high pitched voice. 

“I'm sorry Professor, I had a late night, you know, Head Boy duties, and I overslept”, the lie went through his teeth without him even showing the slightest sign. 

“Well fine, please start with the exercises on page 73, and don't let it become a habit”, Professor Flitwick let him off the hook, knowing that James had done much worse than  
being late and since it was for a good cause he obviously didn't see a point in punishing him. 

“So … Tess Marx? You're a twat , you know that?”, Sirius whispered, before taking the chance and casting the 'Muffliato' charm.  
Since all we were supposed to do this lesson were the exercises, that would prepare us for N.E.W.T.s exercises, Flitwick wasn't paying attention anyway. 

“Sod off Pad, or I won't tell you what she's like”, James told him, arrogance dripping from his voice, an arrogance that gave me chills, for once, because I hated it when he was talking as if he was some sort of god to walk the earth, but also because hearing him talk like that, full of confidence in himself, was a major turn on. 

I tried to focus on the parchment in front of me, on the quill in my hand and the book on the table, but I couldn't help listening to their conversation. While everything inside of me screamed in protest at their topic, I saw Peter looking at them in amazement, probably admiration, and Remus actually not bothering at all next to him. 

“Her arse really is out of this world, ya know? She wore this crazy, lace thong, damn … And she knew what she was doing, I'll tell you that”, James chuckled, lazily pulling out his stuff.  
Sirius pressed on and I couldn't help but sigh loudly at that. 

“What's got your knickers in a twist, Kitten?”, James asked, before pulling my parchment closer so that he could copy my answers for the first few questions. 

“I just think it's odd, you know? Talking about every little detail of a hook up with your best friends? It's a tad disgusting, Prongsie. Just a tad”, I mumbled, taking care to not meet his eyes. 

“Oi, c'm on! Pad and I just share everything”, he justified. 

“Even though that on it's own is just … strange and you should probably wonder if you two might not be … too close for it to be healthy, neither me nor Moony feel the desire to hear about it. You know I can really, honestly, do without an exact description of Tess Marx's nipples or how you were fucking her against a wall”, I clarified, my voice sounding harsher than I intended, but I couldn't stop myself. 

“Pf, Remus just acts like he doesn't enjoy that whenever you're around”, Sirius interfered matter of factly. 

“That's … not my point”, I hissed at him, pulling my parchment away from James', who had, probably on purpose, kept quiet. 

“Yeah, I know what the point is … You're jealous!”, Sirius declared, a knowing smirk gracing his lips. 

“Jealous? Why in Merlin's name would I be jealous?”, I asked angrily, my breath had been caught in my lungs for a second, afraid that Sirius would point out that I was jealous of Tess Marx. 

“You are so jealous, because James and I are getting some and you're not”, Sirius stated, lazily sitting back in his chair. 

I fought the urge to talk back to him, knowing that maybe, this way, I was easier of the hook than with continuing the argument. I had to content myself with huffing offended and making a show of focusing on my work. 

Nearing the end of the lesson my mood hadn't changed and the feeling of James' eyes on me didn't help either.  
Trying not to work myself up any more, I simply pushed my finished exercises into his direction, hoping that he would stop staring now that he got what he wanted. But he didn't and so I pulled my eyes away from my Charms book and let them wander over to him discreetly. He didn't notice at first though. His eyes were lingering on me as if he saw something on me or inside of me that I wasn't aware of.  
I wanted to clear my throat to stop him, since the intense look on his face kind of worried me, but on the other hand it gave me an unusual fiery feeling, deep in my belly, to be looked at like that. I quietly watched his honey-brown eyes staring into me for another moment before inconspicuously turning my eyes back. 

The overall mood as we headed to our afternoon class, well Sirius, James and I ( Remus had been off to Ancient Runes and Peter to Muggle Studies) hadn't really changed since the bell had rung that morning, signalizing that Charms was over. 

We were awkward to say the least. Sirius and I didn't talk, mostly because of my pettiness and his insufferable 'I won the argument' attitude, and since I didn't know what to make of the strange moment when I had caught James' staring at me so intensely that it made my insides burn, I barely talked to him as well.  
The two boys talked though, although not about Tess Marx, so that was at least something. They, thankfully, settled for excited banter about tonight, which made me excited as well, wanting to join in on their predictions who would have the biggest hangover tomorrow and if Remus and Dorcas would finally hit if off. But I kept quiet, focusing on Professor Vectors lecture. 

When I, like every other girl from Gryffindor, fifth years and up, left early from the Halloween feast to get ready, I was positive that some firewhiskey and loud music would solve our tension.  
On the way up to Gryffindor tower I walked behind the other seventh year girls, Lily Evans, Marlene McKinnon, Dorcas Meadows and Mary McDonald, who were chatting about their costumes and who would help whom with make up and hair.

I was remorseful for just a second that I had never managed to really be a part of the group when I heard Dorcas' say: “I hope he doesn't think it's nerdy, you know my costume. I mean I'm not a nerd, I'm definitely not, I just like the muggle fairytales about damsels and all that stuff. I just thought it would be cute.”

“Oh, no, stop it! We've been through it over and over again! You didn't choose the costume to impress someone! You chose it because you like it, and that's all that matters! And if he doesn't think you look unbelievably beautiful in that dress, then he's a git!”, Marlene McKinnon stopped her friends worrying in her usual kind but determined way. 

I smiled, knowing very well that the “Git” they were talking about was no other than Remus and since I was a secret sucker for romance and really wanted Remus to get together with his long time crush, I couldn't help but say: “He heard about your costume and immediately wanted to dress up as a knight.” 

The four girls all turned in their tracks, surprised looks on their faces. 

“You've gotta be kidding!”, Dorcas screeched happily, jumping up and down at her excitement. 

“Thanks for telling Eleanor, I'm not sure we would've been able to drag her out of the dorm otherwise, with all her nonsense worrying”, Mary smiled at me, while Lily tried to calm Dorcas. 

“Do you wanna join us and get ready together? You always wear the most amazing costumes, you could give us some tips”, Marlene suggested all of a sudden. 

Her offer took me by surprise and so did my answer:“Sure, why not”, but since today was full of strange events, this one just added to it. 

“So that really means Remus Lupin likes me back”, Dorcas was still in some sort of daydream when we were up in their - and my old - dorm, getting ready for the party. 

“He has for a while now, he's just … shyer than what meets the eye. He's all good with logical stuff and pranks but when it comes to you he's just … a lost puppy”, I giggled, pulling the last hair roller out of Marlene's now Marylin Monroe blonde locks.  
Since I was a master at the hair dying charm, I had offered her help on the perfect film star blonde and she gladly accepted it, admitting that she would've just left her hair dark blonde like usually, if it wasn't for me.

“That's so sweet!”, Dorcas' sighed, putting a small coronet onto her (naturally) curly hair.

“It really is”, Lily agreed. She and Mary had decided to go as the Queens of Hearts from the Muggle tale “Alice in Wonderland”. 

“Could one of you maybe lace me up?”, I asked around, pulling my own costume out of the box in which it had arrived days ago. 

“Sure thing”, Marlene motioned for me to turn around and put the dress on, before she professionally started tying the corset for me. 

“You look breathtaking, you really do”, Lily whispered in awe when I got out of the bathroom.

I turned the slightest shade of pink and twirled around in the black, sparkly, tulle dress, that went to the middle of my thigh. I knew that the dress itself was pretty, but the real eye catcher were my enchanted fairy wings. The ever so slightly beat of the wings, that were illuminated by the light around us and sparkled in what seemed like fairy dust, made my costume complete. 

“It took hours of spell searching for that”, I pointed on my back, batting the wings a bit faster. 

“It was worth it girl. And your pink hair looks great with this”, Mary complimented me as well. 

“Thank you, I just hope - “, I stopped mid sentence. I was about to say “I just hope James thinks so too”, but since that wasn't something I was willing to share with them, nor anyone for that matter, I was glad that I had caught myself soon enough. 

“You hope what?”, Marlene wiggled her eyebrows at me, her red lips had curved into curious smile.

“That the spell will last”, I lied quickly.

Marlene seemed disappointed for a short moment but was distracted from it when Dorcas finally declared that her Make Up was ready. 

“What took you so long? You didn't do much”, Mary wanted to know. 

“Oh just … you know, nervous hand”, she shrugged it off. 

Mary was right, in comparison to me, Dorcas really looked as though she wore no make up at all, but for my dark fairy look I had decided that a dramatic smoky eye with glittery eyeshadow on top was needed as well as a plum coloured lipstick on my full lips. It felt a bit unusual for me to wear so much make up, since normally I was more the minimalist type, when I was wearing any, but I loved going a bit overboard on parties, especially Halloween. 

The speakers in the common room downstairs were already blowing up for about an hour when we decided that we were fashionably late enough and that two bottles of the champagne that Marlene had stacked were enough of pre-drinking. 

To say that all eyes were on us as we descended the stairs wasn't exaggerated and I was proud to notice that besides Remus, who was solely focused on Dorcas, everyone's eyes lingered a bit longer on me and my enchanted fairy wings. 

“Cleaned up nice Marls”, Sirius casually said as he leant against the wall after taking in Marlene from head to toe. 

“You too Black”, was all she said before giving him the cold shoulder and heading towards the candy bar, that would later, when the lower years had gone to bed, be expanded to a real bar. 

“She's still angry with me for last weekend”, Sirius rolled his eyes and scooted closer to me.  
“You look absolutely ravishing Kitten”, he commented, his signature smirk on display. 

“Thank you Dracula. What happened last week?”, I wanted to know, trying to not sound too flattered by his compliment.  
Although I knew he really meant it, I was well aware that it was his way of sucking up to me again after our discussion. 

“Oh just … we were fooling around all night, you know, like we do every now and then, and I left without telling her”, he told me before licking on a sugar quill in his hand. 

“You're a lost case Padfoot”, I stated before stealing a sugar quill from his hand and adding, “Contrary, to our furry friend over there”. 

Sirius followed my gaze over to the window where Dorcas and Remus stood, having an actual conversation. 

“Ugh, I can't help feeling proud of him”, Sirius brushed it off, acting as though he was on the verge of happy tears. 

“Where's Prongs?”, I wanted to know.  
My eyes had searched the room for about a thousand times, but didn't manage to spot another vampire besides the one next to me. 

“He's in charge of the liquids. We stored them in the secret passage to the kitchens and he went off to get them with the cloak and the map”, Sirius answered.

It was a good answer. One that didn't hurt me, since I expected him to say something along the lines of “He already took a girl back to his room”. 

Five minutes later James climbed through the portrait hole, levitating a seemingly heavy box that contained all sorts of alcohol in front of himself. I debated with myself on whether I should just go over to him or wait for him to find me, but while I was busy with weighing up the possibilities his eyes had already caught me.

“El … You look absolutely beautiful”, he beamed at me, his fake pointed teeth showing. 

“Thank you”, I said as he twirled me around to get a better look.  
His eyes on me made me feel dizzy and I remembered the look he had given me this morning. It was gone now though. 

“So … found any innocent victims already?”, I asked, motioning around. 

“Nah, but it's still early. Don't worry about me love”, he smiled, his eyes solely focused on me when they would normally roam the crowd. 

We stood there in awkward, yet not uncomfortable, silence, looking at each other as though everyone else was so much farther away than they actually were until I caught Remus' looking over at me in despair. 

“I'll see you later Prongs, I think Rem needs a hand”, I mumbled, not sure whether I was pissed at Remus for needing my help or if I was glad to escape the tension that was forming between me and my best friend. 

Before James could say anything that would keep me there I walked over to Remus who stood at a window-sill in the corner. 

“Don't tell me you scared her off”, I said half jokingly, half serious as I saw him fidgeting with his hands. 

“No, thank Godric I haven't yet … But I could use some help, you know? It's so hard to talk to her without making a fool out of myself”, he explained. 

“So you want me to third-wheel? You want me to be a buffer?”, I questioned. 

“Well, if you put it like that … then that's exactly what I want you to do … Look, with you around I'm just more relaxed … Can you please help me Kitten? I don't wanna blow my chance with her, I really like her”, he begged me, nearly falling onto his knees. 

“Fine. Where is she anyway?”, I yielded, acting as though it was a hard decision, when it was a no-brainer for me to help him. 

“She's getting something to drink, I told her to bring you something as well when I saw you come over”, he told me, stopping just in time when Dorcas' came close, three shots of Firewhisky flying before her, three butterbeers in her hand. 

I quickly saw that Remus hadn't exaggerated when he had hinted that the conversation between them was more nervous stammering than actual talking and so I was very glad, for both of their sakes, that I had agreed to help. 

“Did you know that Zonko's now sells muggle joke items?”, Remus tried to find a topic that they would both be interest in and gradually failed.

I suppressed a sigh, ignoring his comment and said: “Dorcas' did you know that Remus always has some sort of chocolate on him? He's obsessed with it.” 

Dorcas' eyes lit up in interest. I had seen two empty boxes of dark chocolate on her bed earlier and remembered the detail just in time. 

“Which is your favourite kind?”, she immediately wanted to know, scooting closer to Remus as I made some space. 

“To be honest all sorts … Besides the ones with raisins in it, that's just … brutalizing for my taste buds”, he jumped on. 

Their discussion about chocolate and everything that had even remotely to do with it went on and on and as I began to truly feel like a third-wheel I knew that my work was, after two hours of helping them find their flow, done.

Deciding that I had done enough good deeds for the night I walked over to the bar and noticed that a few students from the other houses had made it here as well. Gideon and Fabian Prewett were just refilling their glasses with Gin.  
The two brothers, twins that is, were both in Hufflepuff but they were regular guests at every party, even if it was a celebration when Gryffindor won against their house, they would still be seen dancing and drinking the night away with their supposed rivals, but that was probably what made them Hufflepuffs in the first place. 

“'llo there Barclay”, Gideon greeted me. The only way that I could differ between him and Fabian was, that while Gideon had freckles all over his face, Fabian didn't. 

“No surprise to find the two of you here”, I stated, putting my glass down and opting for Fabian to refill it as well. 

“You look amazing”, Fabian told me, smiling.

“Thanks … and you two are?”, I wondered, confusion in my face as I tried to define their costume. 

“I'm a Bowtruckle and he's a Niffler”, Gideon explained, handing me my drink. 

“Oh, of course, sorry I don't take Care of Magical Creatures”, I apologized, deciding that Fabian's fluffy Niffler outfit was pretty cute. 

It didn't escape my notice how Gideon nudged Fabian forward, which was met with an angry glance, before he said: “Would you like to dance with me?” 

I was taken back for a few moments before agreeing, since he was a nice guy and cute and I knew that James probably wouldn't ask me, but speak of the devil and he comes in form of a vampire.  
Just as I followed Fabian to the dance floor that had developed in the middle of the common room once the younger students had gone up to bed (told so by Lily), a large, firm hand took a grip on my wrists. 

“Prongs, what the -”, I could only say, before he pulled me close and crashed his lips on mine.

It was quite shameful how quickly I closed my eyes, without even thinking twice, and let him kiss me. Let him have my first kiss. And what a first kiss it was. 

He didn't taste like I had imagined him to on all those nights that I had spent wide awake thinking about this very moment. He tasted like my strawberry scented toothpaste, a mix of giggle water and Beetle Berry Whiskey, as well as a breath of fresh air and the feeling you get when the sun shines for the first time after a week of storm and rain.  
His left hand was placed just above my bum, his right one sneaking around my waist, and he pulled me even closer, so close, that our bodies were literally pressed together, while his tongue slipped in between my lips and made my knees go weak. Was kissing supposed to make you feel that way? Was it supposed to make you feel as though you were burning and every inch of your skin was tingling? Was every kiss like that? I couldn't know. After all I had never been kissed before until now.

It stopped though, like every good thing did.  
James pulled away from me, only slightly, our faces were still impossibly close to each other, which made it easy to read his face. Pure satisfaction was written all over it as we both tried to catch our breaths. His hands were still lingering on me as the noise of the people around us slowly got through to me again and I heard the sound of cheering and clapping.  
I looked around and saw a group of people sitting on the floor, an empty bottle of “Odgen's old Firewhiskey” in their middle. 

“What the fuck”, I whispered confused, seeing as those people, and the Prewett twins, were the only ones that seemed to have seen us kiss and minded about it.

“I was dared to kiss you”, James' breath tickled my nose as we were still pressed tightly together, him looking down on me. 

I took a step back as though James hands were the arms of a devil's snare. A dare. They were playing truth or dare. I looked past him and realized that the group around the bottle consisted of Sirius, Marlene, Mary, Lily, Peter and Benji. 

“Do you wanna join in?”, James wanted to know, clearly not realizing that I was in a state of pure shock.

He didn't kiss me because of some sudden, lustful urge nor because of a romantic realisation on his part. He only did it because of a dare. My first kiss was a dare. My first kiss with the boy I was in love with, happened because of a dare and that made the possibility that it would happen again nearly non-existing. 

“Kitten? Truth or dare? You wanna join?”, James asked again, a playful smile on the lips that had, not even a minute ago, kissed mine like it was all they ever wanted. 

“Sure”, I only mumbled.

“Great. You lads in as well?”, he asked Fabian and Gideon who were apparently still behind me. 

They both seemed to agree and so we made our way over to the others while Remus and Dorcas' arrived as well.  
For a moment I was distracted from my thoughts as I noticed their bodies being much more at ease with each other, and standing much closer, than before, but the distraction faded immediately when I heard Sirius' roar: “You actually did it! I never thought you would!”

I gulped before letting myself down next to him, Dorcas to my other side. 

“But I did! Now drink!”, James demanded of his best friend, who obeyed at once and downed a shot. 

At the sight of the half empty bottle of Brandy next to me, the only logical thing for me to do was to take a huge sip out of it. 

“Slow it down Kitten or you'll be regretting it tomorrow”, Sirius laughed, knowing that, while I enjoyed drinking very much, I also almost always had a major hangover the next morning. 

I ignored his comment, taking another sip just to spite him before watching the bottle spin and landing on Mary across from me. 

“Truth or dare Mary dearest?”, Marlene asked, a devilish smile on her mouth. 

“I'll take truth”, Mary decided, swaying around the butterbeer in her hands. 

“Fine. Is it true that you once exchanged a worn slip for a Holyhead Harpies ticket?”, Peter asked amused.  
Mary turned scarlet in a matter of seconds, which already gave the answer away. 

While Mary muttered something about hating everyone, the game continued, this time it was Sirius' turn. 

“Dare”, he said in his effortlessly cool way.

“I dare you to strip to your boxers”, Marlene came up with a task immediately.  
Sirius didn't seem to mind, actually, the fact that Marlene had asked this of him seemed to give his ego only another boost, but it was also obvious from Marlene's expression that she didn't do it to embarrass him but rather to give herself something worth looking at. 

Lily was next and she was dared to kiss her first year crush and while she normally wouldn't have done that, the alcohol in her system made her shamelessly kiss Gideon Prewett, who didn't seem to mind at all.  
The bottle spun and spun and I was relieved every time it didn't point onto me, since all I could think about, still, was that James never really wanted to kiss me. He simply did it because Sirius dared him and that made me feel like my heart was under a stinging jinx. 

But eventually, after Sirius and James had kissed (a mere peck though), Remus had drunken a mix of chocolate liqueur, Firewhiskey and Giggle Water, Marlene had told everyone what her secret kink was (handcuffs) and Peter had eaten liquorice wands (he hated them with a passion), it landed on me. 

“Truth”, I decided out of gut feeling, not knowing what I would do at a dare in my drunken state (the Brandy bottle was empty and I had turned to Gin again). 

“So, this boy from France, Louis, right? What did you do together precisely?”

It was James who asked the question, the person I had least expected, to be honest. And the way he said it, literately spit the question out like it was venom that he had been holding in for too long, made my stomach turn. My ears were ringing, not because of the loud music blasting around us, but because of the fact that I needed to come up with a lie in a few seconds.  
My vision was blurry as I gave back: “Well … just everything.” 

The others, well besides the fellow Marauders, were watching us confused, especially since James had this unusual, mostly for Slytherins reserved, mean look on his face. 

“Say it”, he demanded, quite mercilessly. I nervously looked around, seeing Remus shrug at my questioning look, Marlene watching me concerned and Sirius ready to hang on my every word.  
“  
I really don't know what you want to hear”, I gave back, heat rising onto my cheeks, whether from embarrassment or too much liquor, I didn't know. Probably both. 

“Did he go down on you? Did you suck him off? Did you cum when he fucked you? Did he fuck you good?”, James nearly growled, his eyes seemed to shine with anger, focusing on the space where my crossed legs touched Sirius. 

“Blimey mate, calm down”, Benji chuckled, but it didn't loosen the toe-curling situation. 

“Hey, ehm, Eleanor, I dare you to eat three “Pepper Imps” in one go and wash it down with two shots”, Dorcas said loudly, the dangerously hot sweets in her hands already. 

I nodded and did what she dared me to do, and when the smoke came out of my ears everybody was quick to laugh as loudly and carelessly as they could. James didn't.  
The combination of more than four different types of alcohol seemed to finally show as the game continued and I was feeling more and more dizzy. That, pared with the fact of my enormous shock and embarrassment as well as the hurt from earlier was clearly a horrible combination.  
I didn't pay attention to the bottle or what happened any longer, I was trapped inside my mind and the repeating images of mine and James' kiss along with his outburst, made me feel more uncomfortable by the minute. 

“I think I should head to bed. You were right, I'm gonna regret drinking so much”, I eventually told Sirius and took care to lean onto him as I got up from the ground. 

“You sure you can make it to your bedroom?”, Remus asked worried.  
I knew he wasn't only worried by the fact that I couldn't stand straight, not even walk alone without stumbling, but also because he knew how much James' scene had affected me. Sirius and Peter shot me the exact same look, the former ready to get up and escort me to the Head dorms. 

“Yepp, no problemo. You guys don't stop your game for me”, I shook them off, walking towards the stairs and the door to mine and James' room, taking care to neither look back nor make a fool out of myself by falling down. 

A huge weight seemed to be lifted off of me as I closed the door of my bedroom behind my back. I carefully pealed my wings of and dropped them next to the sofa before I sat down onto my bed. Virgo was most definitely in James' room and so there was no soul who could hear me as I started to sob hysterically. 

I wasn't sure whether I cried about James being so mean to me, or about my first kiss happening because of a dare. Maybe a tad bit of happiness was in there as well, because after all, I did have my first kiss with James Potter, but then again I never wanted it to happen like that. And I certainly never wanted him to be so spiteful towards me, without no apparent reason. Why did he do all this? Why did he kiss me like that if it was only for the dare? Did people usually kiss someone like that when they were dared to do so? Why did he, after he had pulled us apart, just for a second, look like he had just fulfilled his greatest desire? Why did he have to play it cool like that? Why did he want to know all about Louis? Why did I have to lie to him? Why did he look at me like I was the only thing he wanted to see in one moment and the most disgusting human being in the next? Why? Why couldn't I get him out of my mind for once? Why did I let him affect me in such a way? Why couldn't I be finally freed of him, when it was so clear, that my affection, my love, wasn't returned in the same way? Sometimes maybe not even at all. 

As I cried and all these questions were floating my mind I didn't hear the knock on the door and a person come in.  
His footsteps, despite the fact that he himself had been drinking the whole night as well, were light and steady on the wooden floor and I only noticed him when he laid his hand upon my back and sat down next to me. By the burning sensation his touch left (and the smell of cocoa, deodorant and broomstick cleaner) there was absolutely no doubt as to who this person was. 

“I am so sorry. I don't know what has gotten into me. I'm an absolute tosser and I'd understand it if you told me to go”, James whispered, but I heard him clearly.  
I didn't tell him to go away, although I was aware that I should have, but I just couldn't resist leaning into his comforting touch. 

“I hate seeing you cry. And knowing that I made you cry just … It makes me hate myself, you know? I'm truly sorry love”, he mumbled, scooting closer towards me. 

“Why did you have to be so mean? I'm your best friend. Why did you even think of this?”, I questioned, my voice drained from crying. 

James took a shaky breath before answering: “I don't know, okay? I just … got so worked up about thinking of his hands on you … and everything else.” 

I couldn't possibly see his face clearly in the dark but I knew for a fact that he was frowning at himself right now. 

“But … Why did you even think of that?”, I wondered as my eyes got more used to the darkness and I was finally able to look into his eyes. 

“I don' know, love! I just saw you and Sirius sitting so close to each other-”, he stopped himself as he saw the confusion written all over my face and just took me in for a moment, his eyes roaming over my whole body. 

“I … that makes no sense James? Why would that bother you? Why do you care? Why would that make you think it was right to be so rude to-”, I was cut of by him staring so intensely at my lips that it gave me shivers all up and down my spine. 

The next thing I knew were his lips on mine, his hand grabbing my waist, the other my face and my hands getting lost in his hair. 

It was only my second kiss, but still, everything that happened felt so natural. James' lips and tongue guided mine and so did his body.  
With only a slight shift of his body weight James pushed me onto the bed, him on top of me. In a swift motion he had one hand intertwined with mine, while the other caressed my hips and I let him press me into the mattress without thinking twice. I had felt butterflies in my stomach before, of course, whenever he smiled at me or gave me an unusual amount of attention, but nothing that I ever dreamt of feeling while making out with him could be met with this. With the sheer joy and desire that exploded inside of me, my inner lioness roared and I couldn't hold back as a moan escaped my lips when James started to kiss my jaw first and then wandered down to my neck. I could feel his confident smirk forming on his lips as his hands started to roam my body.  
James' lips returned back to mine and kissed me hard, forcefully even, as though he couldn't hold back any longer. I felt his touch, the familiar sparkling feeling, everywhere. My arms, my hands, my face, my neck, my waist, all while his tongue was still toying with mine, but before I could let out another breathless moan one of his hands had pulled my dress up and slipped in between my legs, pushing the lacy fabric of my slip out of the way so that he could touch a part of my body that no one else (well, besides myself) had ever touched. 

“James, stop”, I told him rather aggressively. His actions had awoken my mind from its awe and brought it back to reality.

“What? What's wrong?”, he asked out of breath. 

“I … your hand”, I mumbled, shyness taking over me. How was I supposed to tell him that I didn't want him to touch me there? At least not yet. 

“What's wrong with my hand? Is it cold or anything?”, he questioned, removing it from the heat that had formed between my legs. 

“No it's … I don't want that”, I stumbled over my words, the heat from my core now rising to my face. 

“What? I don't get it. You don't want me to touch you?”, he said bewildered. 

“No … Just not there”, I said quietly, shifting underneath his weight on my body. 

James lifted himself off of me, his hand swiftly turning on the light on my bedside table.  
I watched him gather his words as he sat up in my bed, his hair all tangled from my hands. I felt like I had done something horrible, like I had destroyed something. 

“So what you are so desperately trying to say is, that you have let that Louis twat shag you, but you won't let me do the same”, he stated after taking a deep breath, seemingly to calm himself down. 

At the angry, nearly hurt, look in his eyes I just couldn't keep up with that stupid lie. I just crumbled. 

“No, please, that's … I … When you kissed me earlier in the common room … That was my first kiss James”, I declared, having pulled together all my courage.

“What do you mean your first kiss? That's not possible! You've been with this damned bastard in France! You told me you did everything! And even then, you've surely been kissed before! So what the bloody hell are you talking about?!”, James' voice had gotten louder. 

“I'm still a virgin. There was never a Louis in France. I lied. And there certainly was no one before that”, I confessed, feeling utterly shamed at this. 

“Why would you lie about that? That's just sick!”, he reproached angrily, jumping onto his feet. 

“Wait, I can explain it … Just wait!”, I got up as well, my palms growing sweaty and my heartbeat quickening. 

“Oh, now I'm curious!”, he opened his arms wide open as if he couldn't wait to hear what I was about to say. 

“I just wanted to … You were always talking about it with Sirius and … I mean I lied because”, I stammered, unsure about what to tell him, although deep down I knew that the truth would be the only thing that he deserved to hear. 

“That's not an explanation Eleanor! You're merely stumbling over some words”, he said brutally.

“I know, okay! I was afraid that everyone would just continue to ask me if I'd finally lost my virginity! You don't know how embarrassing it is to have to admit that, no, you haven't lost it! No I haven't spread my legs to some stranger! I didn't okay! But I just wanted to fit in! I wanted you and the lads to stop making fun of me! I just wanted to … be normal!”, I shouted, meeting his volume. 

“What the fuck is not normal about being a virgin at seventeen?! You wanna know what's not normal? You lying to your best friends because you think that they don't respect you or your choices or your values! That's not normal! That's just delusional! You always fit in with us! That is until you spun a whole story full of lies just to … seem cool, let's be honest!”, he screamed back at me, a vein on his neck looking as though it was about to burst. 

His words hurt me. They really stung, but in the moment I knew that arguing further wouldn't help me and so I just tried to be the bigger person. 

“I'm sorry Prongs”, I said, looking up at him and trying to put as much emphasis as possible into my words. 

“Sorry doesn't cut it. You lied to me. To all of us. For months!”, he paced back and forth, his hands gripping onto his neck. 

“Then what am I supposed to say?”, I asked him, desperation hitting me like a train.

“Nothing! I know you're all good at apologizing and stuff but I won't give in! I'm angry at you and I'm not looking to forgive you that easily! You and I never lie to each other! We're supposed to be best friends who tell each other everything, so I'm telling you that right now, I don't wanna look at you. And I don't want you to try and make me succumb!”, he yelled at me one last time and stormed out of the room. 

I was crying again on my bed, only this time I was sure that he wouldn't come and say sorry.  
It wasn't his fault that we argued after all. I screwed up. I broke his trust. At first I thought he was angry because I didn't let him have his way with me but that was unfair of me to even think. I knew James. I knew he could be overly smug sometimes, and irritably arrogant and insufferable confidant but he would never in a million years be angry at a girl who told him to stop. On second thought I realized how much it hurt him that I lied to him. I had never lied to him before. Never. And he had never lied to me. Sure there were things that I never told him about like me being in love with him, but never in all our years of friendship (10 and counting) did we lie to each other. 

My stomach was clenching at the memory of the look on his face when I told him about the lie. As though he couldn't believe that had heard correctly. A heart wrenching sob was caught in my throat as my mind repeated the sound of the door crashing closed behind him. How he told me that he didn't want to look at me. I had never fought so badly with a friend before, much less my best friend. I felt utterly lost as I covered my mouth with my hands to muffle my cries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello to all of you!
> 
> I really hope you liked this chapter and I would be thrilled if you chose to comment, give kudos or add this story to your bookmarks!  
> I'd really like to hear what you all think of this story so far!
> 
> Stay healthy and safe during these times!
> 
> Sending you love!


	6. Come here, dressed in Black now ... (So It Goes)

Chapter 5 : Come here, dressed in Black now (… So It Goes)

The next day was a Thursday and I didn't get out of bed. I hadn't even taken off my dress from the night before, I just laid on the duvet of my bed, a mix of dried mascara, eyeliner and eyeshadow made my eyes itch. My head was throbbing from the hangover that had befallen me. Usually James would get me a potion when we had to go to class the morning after a party but he didn't stop to knock when he left quite loudly.   
I figured that he had told the others about our fight since none of them came to see me at lunch break or after classes had ended. I wondered just how much he had told them. If they knew that we had made out. I didn't want them to know. Besides the fact that my lies were already good on destroying friendships on their own, I was sure that the fact that James and I had had kissed more than this once when he was dared would cause an awkward riff in our group. So I just prayed that he only told them about my lie and nothing more. 

I had no feeling for time whatsoever, but it must have already been after dinner when someone knocked quietly on my door and came in without being asked to. 

“Oh Merlin”, Marlene McKinnon sighed, hurrying over to me. 

“Shit, Kitten, are you still alive?!”, Sirius' worried voice got through to me. I didn't answer, just continued to stare at the wall. 

“Okay Black, you'll do as I say, understood? First of all, we'll need something to eat, sweets, preferably, and some butterbeer, if you're already on your way”, Marlene commanded, eyeing me professionally. 

“I need to talk to El first, Marls. Please. Just a minute, before you'll do your work”, Sirius asked and came closer. 

“Looking at her, I'm not too sure if she wants to talk with anything that has a dick right now”, Marlene doubted, but then I made my first movement for hours.   
Stiffly, I sat up and rubbed at my smeared eyes. It made the itching only worse. 

“Here”, Marlene said, with a quick flick of her wand and I could nearly feel how my face got clean again. 

“I'll go get some stuff from the bathroom. One minute, Black. And if she cries because of you, I'll never shag you again”, the blonde girl threatened him. 

Sirius rolled his eyes at her and waited before she disappeared behind the bathroom door, before sitting down next to me.   
“James told us”, he stated bluntly. 

“James told you what?”, I asked high pitched, internally crossing my fingers.

“About the lie”, he gave back the obvious. I suppressed a sigh of relief. 

“And now all of my friends hate me, great”, I mumbled instead, which was the second thought that came to me. 

“No, of course we don't! Why do you think I'm here? Rem, Pete and I were worried sick about you! But we had detention all evening for that pumpkin prank we pulled, if you remember”, he told me calmly.   
I nearly snorted with laughter, remembering that they had intended to prank the Slytherins, so that, on the morning after Halloween, their noses would turn into small pumpkins. Apparently, it had worked. 

“But James hates me”, I stated bitterly, avoiding any eye-contact. 

“No, he could never, and you know that. He's hurt, and honestly, we're all a bit hurt. You shouldn't have lied to us. I don't understand why you saw the need to. And that hurts the most. It hurts that you thought that we would think less of you, when you're still a virgin. Still … a part of me understands, okay? I understand that you felt left out. And I think that James overreacted as well, but right now, he's having none of it. He'll come around though. He just needs to be angry for some time”, Sirius elaborated.

“I know what I did was wrong in so many ways. And I'm sorry. I truly am, Pad”, I mumbled remorsefully, tears picking in my eyes again. 

“Hey no, don't cry. You know what Marlene said. It's all gonna be okay, I promise. James will calm down and you'll be back on track in no time. Just … Let him take his time”, Sirius rubbed my back soothingly and cracked a smile. 

“Thanks for coming Padfoot”, I whispered, truly grateful.   
“Anytime Kitten”, he assured me, just as Marlene got back to us. 

“Now hush, you have your orders”, she said in his direction while walking over to my closet. 

Weirdly enough, she didn't seem inhibited by the fact that we weren't really close, while she searched through my piles of clothes before picking out sweatpants and a warm hoodie. It felt so strange to have her here, all worried about me, but at the same time, it gave me a sense of calmness and satisfaction. 

“Come on, you have to get out of the dress. I'm afraid it's quite damaged”, Marlene dragged me up and motioned for me to turn around.   
She undid the zip and helped me step out of it. 

“So, you don't know me that well, yet anyway, Eleanor, but, let me tell you, I have a tendency to eavesdrop. And I couldn't help but listen to your conversation with Black”, she admitted, handing me the clothes she picked out and waving her wand at my hair, that untangled immediately.  
I lifted my eyebrows at her, unsure where this was going. 

“Well, since I want to be your friend, I'm not gonna pretend and say that what you did was good. That won't help you either. So, let me tell you this: I know that this wasn't the only thing that went down last night. James is a hot-headed guy, sure, but not with you, usually. He wouldn't have lashed out at you if you simply told him about it. I've been watching you and him for years now. And I noticed when you started changing the way you look at him. So, spill the beans!”, Marlene pulled me onto the sofa after picking up Virgo and placing him in her lap. 

“We … We made out, I guess. He was so strange during the game and he found me crying because of it. When I asked him why he said all those things he got angry and just … kissed me. When he … wanted to do more, I stopped him. And then I obviously had to tell him the truth. And the rest is history. He lashed out and left.”  
I had no idea why I told her this, but something about her warm, small hand stroking my arm and her deep, blue orbs looking at me in pity, made my walls crumble.   
Marlene sighed, as though she had expected something like this. 

“I have something like a sixth sense when it comes to love-drama. Don't know why, but I just knew that there happened more than what the boys know”, she said matter-of-factly.

“Why … why do you care? Why do you … wanna be my friend, all of a sudden? I mean, we slept in the same room for half a dozen years and never been more than just … polite to each other”, I questioned her intentions. 

“First of all, I kind of always wanted to be your friend. But you were so caught up with these idiotic bunch of trolls that we never got the chance to get close. Second, what you did last night for Dorcas was so selflessly kind that it made my heart burst. And third, I saw you looking at James after he kissed you. And I know that look. I have looked at Sirius like that maybe a hundred times … well, at least before I understood that that's just how he is. And that I probably won't change him”, she shrugged and patted Virgo's head carefully. 

“Wow … I … I'm not used to people … or girls, wanting to be friends with me”, I told her honestly. 

“Don't worry, I won't be … stalking you or something like that. If you say you don't need me or that you don't wanna be friends, I totally understand that”, she smiled, at ease. 

“No I … I think I would like it very much for you to be my friend”, I admitted and grinned awkwardly. 

“Oh yay! I was hoping you'd say that! First things first, you have to tell me how you do that hair-colouring spell!”, she said and clapped her hands in excitement which made Virgo hiss at her.   
“He can be oversensitive sometimes”, I explained and gave my tomcat a scolding look.   
“Sorry, furry friend”, Marlene apologised at once and got back to stroking him. 

I couldn't avoid classes the next morning since Professor Slughorn had indicated a surprise test for the day and because of my two missed assignments it wouldn't be good for my grade to miss the test as well.   
It took my by surprise when I saw Marlene waiting for me at the door to the Head Students' rooms, with a smile on her lips and a hairband in her blonde locks. 

“Hey new bestie”, she greeted me and already wrapped her arm around my waist. 

“Did you sleep a bit?”, she wanted to know as we climbed through the portrait-hole and made our way to the great hall. 

“Not much, no. I feel like I fell off my broom”, I gave back, keeping my head down. 

“Well, if it's any consolation, you don't look like it. You simply look as if you didn't sleep for like … 300 years”, she joked and dragged me along. 

When we entered the great hall and walked towards the Gryffindor table, I caught James' eyes. He was in the middle of a conversation with a girl from the Hufflepuff table when he noticed me. His signature smile froze for a moment and his eyes turned cold before he, just like nothing happened, ignored me and turned his attention back towards the brunette girl.   
Marlene had seen the interaction and pulled me straight ahead, before pushing me down onto the bench, right in between herself and Lily Evans. 

“Okay, girls, we have a mission: Eleanor here needs a distraction. Preferably an attractive male distraction!”, Marlene stated and poured herself and me a big cup of green tea.

“Oh yes, that sounds like fun! How about … William Proctor? He's cute, I've done him”, Mary suggested, taking a spoon full of her cereal. 

“No, she needs super hot, not cute!”, Marlene decided for me with a quick glance at the Ravenclaw table, where said William Proctor was eating his breakfast.   
I pulled my eyebrows up at her dedication. 

“You'll get used to it”, Dorcas laughed at my reaction. 

The morning lessons were hard to get by. It felt strange, not sitting with the Marauders but every time I entered the class room, be it Professor McGonnagals' Transfiguration class of Defense Against the Dark Arts, James had outdone himself: He simply had sat himself at another table and when Peter wanted to join me at our usual seats he had glared at him so dangerously, that he had turned around on the spot and sat down next to James. I simply rolled my eyes, even Marlene seating herself next to me and purposefully making a show out of it couldn't lift my spirits. 

After lunch it was time for Potions and the dreaded surprise test. When I entered the class room (Marlene's arm intertwined with mine) I saw that Remus sat on James' spot at the group-table I normally shared with James and the Prewett twins.   
He waved over to me and smiled invitingly. 

“I'll sit with Remus, if that's okay with you”, I told Marlene, remembering that there wasn't any room at their table anyway.   
She nodded and wished me luck for the test before we parted our ways. Through the smog of an undefinable potion I walked over to my seat and fell down next to Remus. 

“Hey Kitten”, he greeted and pulled out his quill and parchment.   
“Hey Moony.”

“Look, I'm sorry for earlier. You know how … petty James can be and we thought it would be best not to anger him even more”, he apologized on the spot, immediately handing me a small chocolate bar. 

“No worries”, I gave back, eagerly eating the sweet in two bites. 

“You … You're still coming to the party tomorrow though, right?”, he questioned slowly as Fabian and Gideon sat down opposite to us. 

“I planned that whole thing. Of course I'll be there … And I don't wanna fight with Sirius as well”, I told him, although I didn't exactly sound enthusiastic. 

“Good. Has your dad said anything about the present?”, he inquired further while Professor Slughorn entered the class room. 

“It'll be here by tomorrow evening. Madame Rosmerta will hide it until we're there”, I informed him, not able to retain a smile at the thought of Sirius' birthday present. 

“What did you get him?”, Fabian asked curiously. 

“You'll have to wait and see. You'll come, won't you?”, I said secretive. 

“Sure thing. Wouldn't miss that bash for the world”, he winked over at me, making me blush lightly. 

After greeting us formally, Professor Slughorn handed out a parchment with questions for everyone and told us that we had the whole lesson to answer them. 

1\. Elaborate the rules for the use of Felix Felicis (liquid luck)  
2\. Cite the recipe for the Antidote to Veritaserum   
3\. Name 5 different Antidotes  
4\. Name the dangers when taking Polyjuice Potion  
5\. Name the ingredients for the Calming Potion  
6\. Cite the recipe as well as rules when brewing the Draught of Living Death

I knew the answers to those, I thought immediately and just when I wanted to start scribbling the answers down as fast as I could – knowing that Slughorn would let me leave early if I handed him the finished test- I felt someone staring daggers at me. I didn't have to look up to know it was James whose eyes were fixed onto me from the other side of the room.   
He looked even angrier than last night. In fact, his honey brown eyes were nearly burning me to the ground. I couldn't look away, the intenseness in his look was making my heart beat against my blouse and the pullover I had thrown over it. I bit the inside of my cheek in an attempt to distract myself from him, but it didn't work. Even when he himself decided to finally start writing (maybe 10 minutes later) I couldn't even think of picking up my quill again.   
James and I had bickered before, sure. Mostly it was because the Holy Head Harpies had won against the Chudley Cannons or when we argued over the last box of pink coconut ice from Honeydukes. But never before had James looked at me like this. It gave me goosebumps in the most negative way and made my toes curl like the thought of toads usually did.   
A harsh kick against my knee made me take in a deep breath and remember my surroundings. I looked over to Remus who frantically pointed at my empty parchment.   
Hurrying, I grabbed my quill and looked at the questions again, trying to remember the answers that I had been so sure about before James' stare had thrown me off balance.   
I managed to answer every question before Slughorn told us to hand him our tests back, but not as detailed as I would have liked to.   
With a worried look, I handed him my parchment, and he noticed. 

“I'm quite confident it will be well enough Eleanor”, he winked with his pig-like eyes.   
I gave him the best smile I could muster before returning to my place and collecting my stuff.   
At the door, James rushed past me without another glance. I sighed, walking out, not in the mood to wait for anyone and talk to them. 

“Hey, Eleanor!”, I turned around to see Fabian Prewett jogging to catch up with me. 

“Hey Fabian”, I mumbled, as I said, not exactly in the mood for company, but his bright smile was so infectuous that I couldn't help but return it. 

“Are you okay? You seem a bit … off. I noticed you zoning out during Potions”, he asked, his voice just enough worried to not seem pitying. 

“Oh … I was sick yesterday, maybe you know that already. I just still have a bit of a head ache”, I lied through my teeth. 

“Yeah, I did. Class isn't nearly as good if you're missing”, he said casually, which made me blush a bit. 

“Uhm, so I was wondering, if you … You know Sirius party tomorrow?”, he scratched his ginger locks, as we were walking out of the dungeons and towards the great stairs. 

“What about it?”, I questioned back, grinning at his loss of words. 

“I wanted to ask you if you would like to … I don't know maybe … Maybe we could - “, just as he was about to finish his sentence Sirius burst in between us and threw his arms around both our necks. 

“What are you whispering about? Certainly not the not so secret surprise party you have planned, love?”, he questioned excitedly. 

“I have no idea what you're talking about. Why do you smell like that?”, I wondered, suppressing the need to gag at his smell of foul eggs and dead fish. 

“Stink bomb went up in my pocket”, he shrugged apologetically and gave me a smooch on my cheek. 

“Ugh, you need to shower, that's simply disgusting”, I reproached him, turning my face, and thus my nose, away from him. 

“Yeah, whatever, tag along?”, he pleaded with me, making his usual puppy eyes. 

“Okay, I wanted to start homework before dinner anyway”, I consented letting him take my hand and drag me along. 

“Oh wait! Fabian, what did you want to ask me?”, I stopped Sirius and turned around to one half of the Prewetts. 

“Oh ehm … Not important, I'll see you tomo – around I guess”, he told me with a quick glance to Sirius, his grin only faltering a bit.   
I nodded, noticing Sirius triumphant gesture next to me before we hurried up the stairs on our way to Gryffindor Tower. 

“Okay so, remember how I told you about that eavesdropping thing?”, Marlene let herself fall down onto the armchair next to mine, pushing my Charms book aside to make room for two cups of tea. 

“Yeah, vividly”, I nodded, gratefully accepting the hot beverage. 

“So, I heard how a certain red head was talking about asking you out!”, she mused, stretching her feet and purposefully talking a bit louder than required when she noticed James sitting in another corner. 

“Lily wants to go on a date with me?”, I asked simple-mindedly. 

Marlene rolled her eyes, before correcting me: “Fabian Prewett you idiot! I heard him tell Gideon that he tried asking you but you were interrupted." She threw a pointed look over to Sirius who winked in return. 

“Oh, so that's what he was trying to say! It kinda makes sense I guess … But I would've turned him down anyway”, I told her shrugging and taking a look over my finished Charms homework. 

“And why is that?! I told you, you need a distraction! A hot distraction! Fabian is both. And he's kind! And funny! And sweet! So care to tell me why you would have turned him down?”, she wanted to know, clapping her hand rather forcefully on the table. 

“Okay, calm down. I have so much to do tomorrow. I need to head to the Three Broomsticks early to help Madame Rosmerta with the last preparations! I only got her to agree because I promised her she wouldn't have to do all the work alone. Besides, I don't know if I want to go on a date”, I admitted, taking a sip of my tea.

“You're just looking for excuses”, she diagnosed professionally, grabbing the parchment with my homework. 

“You wouldn't mind letting me copy some of it, would you?”, she asked sweetly, pouting. 

“Go ahead”, I gave her permission and closed my eyes for a second. 

“Okay, maybe you really can't be bothered with a real date tomorrow, but you could still … you know, take the initiative after a shot or two”, she proposed and started scribbling additions to her homework. 

“I'll think about it. Maybe”, I told her, which she met with a not convinced look.

“Don't make me take that back”, I warned her, meaning both my homework and the half-promise. 

The Hogsmeade weekend started rather dull for me, since I was on permission-control-duty with Jenna Muggs and Dean Lessles (both fifth year prefects) and I still had some stuff to catch off to from Thursday, I decided that I wouldn't go to the village before it was time to meet up with Madame Rosmerta at 7 pm.   
In the morning Remus, Peter and I had had a last talk about when they should pilot Sirius to the infamous pub and we decided that they should arrive around 9. Sure, Sirius already suspected that we would throw him a surprise party, and the fact that I had acted to busy to congratulate him this morning only gave in to his assumption, it was still nice to keep up the secretive act. And the fact that we, or rather I, had been planning the whole thing for more than two months without him finding out was enough satisfaction. 

“Hey loser! We brought you something!”, Marlene's loud voice rang through the portrait-hole.  
I looked up from my DADA book and saw her dangling a paper back from 'Miss Roberts' (the only shop for muggle clothes in Hogsmeade) before my face. 

“We thought you might need a little … confidence booster for tonight”, she explained, dangling the bag like a carrot before my face. 

“You bought me clothes?”, I questioned, closing the book and getting up. 

“Yeah. You can't go to this party in … this”, Mary pointed at my huge cardigan (borrowed from Remus) and the leggings I wore. 

“You shouldn't have”, I smiled at the whole group that was surrounding me now.   
Last night I had taken them to the Prefects Bathroom and with Marlene's easy nature in the middle, we all grew close in no amount of time and I was wondering why I had always been so against being friends with them. 

“Come, we can get ready in my room! I don't think the boys will come back to get changed!”, I offered them and they agreed, quickly getting everything they need from their dorms. 

“Girls, you really are insane”, I said as I looked at myself in the mirror.  
It was a black mini wrap-dress, made out of silk, with long sleeves and a deep, v-neckline, that gave just enough away to seem a bit scandalous. 

“You look to die for!”, Marlene stated and handed me a deep red lipstick. I quickly applied it and blew her a kiss, which she cheekily caught. 

With a quick 'swoosh' of my wand, I gave my baby-pink hair soft curls. Looking at the clock on my night stand, I quickly grabbed my coat and looked around. 

“I can go ahead with you and help with decorating !”, Dorcas offered after she decided that she was satisfied with her look, while the others were still discussing their outfits and make-up.

“Don't forget, you have to be there before nine!”, I made sure to tell them one last time before Dorcas put on her coat over her tight, purple roll neck and black skirt and we left.

On Hogsmeade Weekend Saturdays, fifth years and up were allowed to stay in the village as long as they liked, although it was rumoured (to everybody's despair) that the teachers were debating that, due to the dangerous times, the students should return before night fall. But since those were only rumours and a decision was far from being announced, almost everybody that was allowed to was still rummaging the streets, when we had burst through the door of Madame Rosmertas pub. 

“Where did you put it?”, I asked excitedly when we entered the Three Broomsticks after our carriage ride down to the village.

“In the backyard. Your father was here in the early morning and made sure that it's safely stored”, she laughed at my nervousness and walked over to us. 

“I thought, balloons, a banner, a mirrorball and then we should get rid of a few tables from the middle to form a dance floor”, I suggested to her and she agreed at once with a simple nod. 

With the help of our wands we began working, Dorcas using her wands to blow up the balloons, while Rosmerta enchanted most of the tables and chairs to vanish and I made sure that the banner which read “Happy 18th Birthday” was flowing in the air in the middle of the room.   
We enchanted the balloons with the same spell and the mirror ball as well before we made sure that the jukebox Rosmerta had organised was placed perfectly.   
When it was 5 minutes till nine, everybody who was invited had shown up and even some people that I had never seen before. Shrugging I stood at the window, looking around for any sight of the Marauders. 

“You look beautiful”, I heard a compliment from behind me. I turned around to see if it was directed at me and sure enough, Fabian Prewett was standing next to me. I remembered yesterday's conversation with Marlene and that she wanted me to go after him. I pushed the thought to the side, I didn't have any firewhiskey yet. 

“Got you a drink”, he added as though he could read my mind and handed me a shot. 

“Thank you. For both”, I smiled at him and we toasted to each other before downing our glasses. 

“Everybody shut up! I saw them walking towards the door!”, Benji Fenwick cried out and the whole room fell silent.   
Excitedly I got positioned under the banner (not before downing another shot at the thought of James coming through the door though). 

“Happy Birthday!”, we all shouted as the door opened and the Marauders pushed Sirius through it.   
His face lit up immediately as he scanned the whole room and saw that all of his (many) friends were there and everything was ready for a huge celebration. 

“Kitten!”, he called out, walking towards me with open arms. I laughed at his excited expression and hugged him tight. 

“Happy Birthday Padfoot”, I whispered as he swayed us from side to side happily.

“Did you do all of this?!”, he wanted to know and motioned around himself, ignoring the line that had built with people who wanted to congratulate him. 

“Well, Rosmerta and Dorcas helped me with decorating and the boys helped with getting you here”, I told him, both of us smiling from ear to ear.

“You're really something else. Thank you so much! I love you”, he smiled, kissing my cheek. 

“I love you too Pad”, I gave back, hugging him one last time before we pulled apart and James and I locked eyes.

He must have not seen me before Sirius had let me go because honestly, I would have felt this cold stare most certainly before.   
Something strange happened because, as though the wind had blown it away, the angry look in his eyes vanished and got replaced with something undefinable as he looked me up and down. Just as I thought this was too good to be true his jaw hardened again and he turned away, leaving through the crowd.

“You outdid yourself!”, Peter screamed over the now loud blasting music. 

“Well, just wait until you see the present!”, I winked at him, which he returned and pointed to Sirius , who had finished taking congratulations, with the silent question if we should give it to him now. 

“Come Moony! Present time!”, I said excitedly and grabbed the werewolf's arm, who was busy talking with Dorcas. Since Halloween the ice between them was finally broken. 

Peter, Remus, Dorcas and I walked over to Sirius who had just downed his first drink and told him to come with us outside. On the way there, Peter had grabbed James at his elbow, breaking his flirt with some blonde bitch whose name I didn't even want to know. When he realized what we were up to, James eyes lit up with the same excitement as ours.

“So, now that you're eighteen and officially legal in the muggle world as well, we thought we could finally fulfil your biggest wish”, I told him, grinning as more and more people curiously stepped into the backyard of the Three Broomsticks. 

“I'm all ears!”, he laughed, seemingly a bit nervous. 

“So, to be fair, it was Eleanor who came up with the idea, like always. And she asked mine and her dad if they could manage to procure this and add some magic to it”, James was suddenly by my side and the excitement about Sirius' reaction made him forget about his mean behaviour at once. 

“May we present you: The first flying motorcycle!”, I screeched, pulling the blanket Rosmerta had thrown over it away and revealing Sirius' present. 

Sirius just stared at the motorcycle, seemingly at loss of words while everybody else was 'ooh-ing' and 'aww-ing'.   
Sirius finally got over his paralysis and rushed over to pull both me and James into a bone-crushing hug.   
James and I only touched for a mere second, yet it was enough to set my whole skin on fire. I sucked in a sharp breath and broke the contact immediately. 

After we all got inside again, I walked over to the bar and Rosmerta handed me a Martini. 

“You look as though you need it”, she simply commented. I shrugged and began sipping on it way too fast.

Roaming over the crowd, my eyes couldn't make out James and I wasn't sure if I was glad about it or not. Not seeing him meant that he was probably fucking some girl in a restroom stall. I sighed, trying to focus on something else, like watching Remus and Dorcas shyly flirt with each other while nervously sipping on their drinks. I could watch them grow more comfortable with each other by the minute. Why couldn't I have something so easy?   
My eyes landed on Lily, Mary, Benji and Peter next who were drinking shots too fast for their own good, probably playing some game. Thinking of the last drinking game I participated in made me shudder and turn my eyes elsewhere.   
Somehow a few Slytherin girls had made it here and one of them, Lucinda Talkalot, a living goddess, was busy fluttering around the Prewett-Twins. While Gideon seemed to truly enjoy it Fabian's eyes were restless just like mine. He left his brother and Lucinda a few seconds later.   
A whole bunch of people had started dancing, among them Sirius and Marlene who were grinding against each other already. I rolled my eyes, smiling, at the thought of Marlene telling me how she had accepted that she wouldn't change Sirius. Obviously, that didn't keep her from him. 

“All alone?”, Fabian asked, scooting close to me. 

“Oh wow, you're really good at creeping up, aren't you?”, I laughed. He shook his head in amusement, getting himself a refill. 

“No not really, you were just up in the clouds again”, he gave back after toasting at me.   
I blushed, slightly embarrassed, but thanks to the lack of normal light it wasn't too obvious. 

“So … Originally I had planned to ask you if you wanted to come here together yesterday”, he revealed. I feigned surprise, as if Marlene didn't already tell him.   
I simply smiled at him, unsure of what to say. 

“Now, seeing as I messed that up, would you like going out with me another time? Maybe the next Hogsmeade weekend? Or we could have a study date some time next week? Or just meet up anywhere you want”, he suggested boldly, a warm grin on his face. 

“Why not? I'd love to, actually”, I agreed out of the blue.   
As I saw his eyes light up and realized what I had said I wanted to back out, but I once again remembered yesterday's conversation. Marlene was right. I should distract myself. Why not with Fabian? 

“Great … uhm, would you maybe like to dance with me? Like now?”, he wondered, scratching the back of his head.

With my new resolution in mind I emptied the Martini in one go and nodded, the liquid confidence nearly immediately kicking in as I grabbed him by the hand and dragged him on the dance floor, that was now heavily crowded, so that one was particularly forced to dance like Sirius and Marlene had the whole time.   
It wasn't bad to dance with Fabian, nor did it cost me any overcoming at all, to be honest. Once we were framed by all the sweating bodies, the – from afar awkward looking but now not feeling – grinding came naturally.   
I actually had a lot of fun, occasionally taking a shot from one of the floating trays, which only eased me further and I copied the movements I had seen Marlene making earlier. Fabians hands were roaming over my back, but they hadn't been anywhere overly inappropriate. Even if so, I wouldn't have minded much right now. 

Suddenly, just as his hand got close to the curve of my ass, he got pulled away from a tall figure, someone taller than him. I couldn't actually see that person, but my heart, that always started to flutter just a bit lighter whenever he was around, told me exactly who had grabbed him at the shoulder. 

“What the hell, man?”, Fabian asked, just loud enough for me to hear. Nobody around us seemed interested in the scene playing out, it wasn't spectacular enough for that yet. 

“Get away from her. And don't touch her again, understood?”, James growled, I could see that every light had left his eyes, leaving only two dark orbs. 

“What the fuck is your problem, Potter?”, Fabian asked angrily, trying to get James to let him go. I stepped forward, with the intention to go between them, but my gut feeling somehow held me back. 

“Your hand all over her. That is my problem, Prewett. Sod off”, James spat, giving Fabian a push that might have been strong enough to put him on the ground but due to the crowded space, he simply jostled against a few others. 

“Come”, James didn't waste any time, harshly grabbing my wrist and dragging my frozen form after him through the dancing wizards and witches, back into the backyard.

“What's wrong with you?!”, I found my voice rather quickly, looking up and down his slightly panting body in the dim light of an old lantern. 

“Could ask you the same thing”, he snapped back, towering over me. 

“What have I done this time? Huh?”, I questioned, really not aware of anything I did wrong.   
He shook his head, a dark smirk on his face. 

“Why did you dance with him like that?”, he inquired, getting closer. 

“Why wouldn't I? He asked me to dance”, I told him, shaking my head in disbelieve at his behaviour. 

“Oh did he now? Did he ask you to grind on him like that? Did he ask you to do that, huh?”, he continued to push me in the direction of the brick wall, his breath becoming visible due to the cold air surrounding us. 

“I really have no idea what you mean! Everybody does it, why shouldn't I?”, my back hit the wall behind me and a shudder overcame me. 

“You were nearly dry fucking that guy!”, James accused me again, his face only inches from mine. 

“What's it to you?!”, I wanted to know, meeting the determined look in his eyes with confusion. 

“I can't watch you dance like that with somebody else”, he said, almost inaudible. 

My face softened and suddenly it wasn't as cold as seconds ago. In fact, my surroundings felt too hot.   
James snorted, half amused, half angry, placing one of his hands lazily next to my head, as though to make sure I wouldn't run away. He stood tall in front of me, our bodies not yet but nearly touching.   
“What were you thinking, wearing that dress?”, he mumbled, his mouth just above my jaw.

“Maybe I wanted to catch somebody's attention?”, I gave back, fighting with myself to not push my face forward so that his lips would finally meet my skin. 

“You certainly did”, he said lowly, his free hand sneaking around my neck to bring us even closer.   
Other than that we still weren't touching, but his cold hand on my hot neck was enough to make my senses go wild. 

“I don't understand you”, I whispered, searching his eyes for any kind of indication what all of this meant, just when he said: “Let's get out of here.” 

At once, I pushed my doubts about his switching moods into the back of my mind, nodding slowly. 

We made our way through the crowded pub, always staying as close as it was possible. We didn't say goodbye to anybody, only grabbed my coat and his jacket before exiting the birthday party of our best friend. 

The way back to the castle was spent in silent tension, neither of us were able to tare their eyes from the other.  
When we got back, we quickly went through the fastest secret passage that lead to the seventh floor and in what felt like seconds we stood in his room, both of us breathing rather heavily. 

“What do you want?”, I managed to ask, the way here had somehow cleared my mind, if only a little bit, but still enough to know that this was a crazy idea. Whatever his idea was. 

“What do you want?”, he shot the question back, pulling me against his chest. 

“I … I want you to kiss me”, I whispered.   
The second that I finished the sentence, his lips were on mine, making me feel all sorts of ecstasy. Taking me to the highest skies and burning me with the brightest flames all at once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello y'all!
> 
> I'm so sorry for not updating earlier, but due to exams and a death in my family I had the worst writers block ever. I hope there's still somebody interested in this story!  
> It would be so kind if you'd left me a kudos and a comment! I would really like some feedback!
> 
> Stay healthy!
> 
> xxx


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